When I tell others I have autism they usually say ‘sorry,’ but you don’t have to be sorry, it’s what I get to deal with, you don’t have to apologise. We all deal with something.
I am okay with it… it has opened more doors than it has closed.
With autism I think and interpret the world differently.
Do I wish I’d had more support?
Yes, but what I have learned is that I need to continue to focus on the things that allow me to ‘be me’ and worry less about what others think about me and what I deal with.
I have a disability that encompasses, a physical, mental and emotional disability.
Does that make me different?
Yes.
Does the fact that I deal with difference change the status quo?
Yes. Not everyone understands, or wants to understand, and if they do, they forget. I don’t look disabled and that tends to work against me.
Is it an issue?
Yes, it’s more of an issue than it’s not.
The world and those close to us, need to work with difference and allow us to thrive through ‘difference’. Learning to be a support.
Do people need to change their attitudes to allow us to be ‘different?’
Yes, but if the shoe were on the other foot, others would expect us to do the same.
Can people change?
Absolutely they can. Like everything, they have to want to.
Have I changed?
Yes. Through 12 years of writing for The CP Diary, I have spiritually and emotionally grown.
Do I see the world differently? Yes, I see everything differently. I don’t have a normal thinking. My lifestyle has also changed to reflect my spiritual values. My blog helps others to change.
Spend time reading and absorbing literature, my literature, get to know you. Where not all disabilities are obvious, or visible… be accepting, be kind, be supportive, be patient, be understanding, we’re doing our best.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Learn to be a Support”

  1. It would have been great to have had more support as a child too, but I was forced to emotionally support my parents. Of course, it's no wonder that I used to be extremely codependent which I have had to work on changing.

    I'm not very good at being supportive without getting enmeshed, but I'm getting better at it. People can change as long as they choose to change, but if they don't want to, then nothing can change.

    1. Thanks Randy. Families and family life can be enmeshed, depending on the relationships and sadly for many, not all families will get on. Where they don't there is little to no emotional or mental support.

      A sad reality for many children who can then find themselves homeless, or emotionally struggling to function in their own normal, trying to understand their life and make headway.

      Growing up, you and I fell into the latter category. With a roof over our heads, we struggled to function in what was our own normal, to get through our childhoods.

      But support is important, because without being supported by our parents, as adults it will be difficult to learn to support, where others may need our support.

      In my own case, being able to retreat into myself, allowed me to observe others while working on my own mental health.

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