Death is part of life. It's the part of life we tend not to talk about. But it's there, it's something we all get to deal with, when we lose a loved one. So what does it feel like to lose someone we love?

There is a sadness, a void, where that person once was. The relationship may not have been perfect, but you may still be willing to trade anything for one more second, hour, day, or month with that person.

Mitch Albom once wrote:

“You can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back,” a line that changes our thinking.

We tend not to think about our relationships

We tend not to think about our relationships, until something happens, then we can’t get that person or those thoughts out of our mind. We may struggle to comprehend that person is ill, or they're gone. We may even wish things had have been different.

But illness escapes no-one. It’s hard to watch someone deteriorate. As hard as we try, our emotions can get the better of us.

You may want to rewind back the clock

You may want to rewind the clock, do something different, look for a different outcome. Life goes on and we reconcile, if only for a short while. Momentarily, our memories take us back to the times when life felt easier. But it isn't just what we have to deal with, it's what they leave behind. Relationships are intertwined, it works both ways.

A note to ponder… all souls are beautiful, but complex; each soul has its journey, some are short, some are longer, but a journey, which we cannot change. In spirit, our loved ones will move on through their own healing, their own journey.

In time they will also let go of what they left behind, as they learn to reside in their new dimension.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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