As a child I had an excuse for my anger. I grew up with a mental illness, and for me, struggling was the norm. It was a time when I didn't know why I was deeply upset about my circumstances, about my life. About the fact I had something.

We're angry, and we project how we feel on to the nearest person we can.

We don't always relate to being angry

I didn't relate my anger to me or what was a disability I later learned. I didn't understand why I was angry or why I presented with anger issues. As the adult, it's not difficult to understand and it's easier to put those pieces together, to understand.

Anger is related to our experiences

Anger is related to our experiences and usually starts in childhood. Anything and everything that makes you feel bad about yourself. Injustice can lead to anger and anger issues. Abuse and neglect also leads to anger.

But until we understand that we have anger and that we need to deal with the anger we feel, our issues with anger will always continue. Anger is like dealing with a hot coal, it ignites fairly quickly, it goes off and it's out of control.

When anger is down to a lack of support

So, being told by mum not to talk, unless I had something nice to say, and without my anger being addressed was wrong, but it did jolt me into taking myself in hand, taking control. Although it wasn't wasn't mine to own, or down to me, my anger issues did belong to me, and I realised I needed to work on myself.

That indeed was my wake-up call.