Anyone and everyone who lives with a disability, will be familiar with my stories, Mychaela's story. Living with a disability can be a difficult life, but it doesn't have to be. Difference needs to be accepted as part of 'the norm'. Like Mychaela's story, I've also had my own to bear. Sadly, I'm hearing too many stories like our stories. It is a common theme, a thread that runs through the heart of society.

The following is an extract from Mychaela's Story:

"KEEPING IT REAL: Mychaela's Story: Describe what it was like to grow up with cerebral palsy? Growing up with cerebral palsy has been extremely difficult. Especially when it came to school. Kids were not nice to me. I learned at an early age, no one is going to respect my disability. High school was the worst. I got called by many names “handicapped girl”. “Cripple”. “Ugly”. The list goes on and on. It even got as far as me being bullied." Source: cparforg)

Mychaela's story isn't unique."Quite often I feel like I'm the villain in someone else’s story. Like many people with a physical, mental and emotional disability, my disability may often become a part of a situation where others seem to think I’m the obstacle, I'm the burden, because they fail to understand my behaviour or why I may respond in a way that feels cold, stubborn or objectionable. It feels as if they see me as a problem that needs to be worked around, or worse... forgotten.

Living with Stigma

I will bring stigma in here because it's also part of the disability issue. Disability Stigma aptly defined: "Disability stigma refers to the negative attitudes, prejudices, and discriminatory behaviors that individuals with disabilities face due to their physical, mental, or intellectual differences. This stigma often stems from societal misconceptions, lack of awareness, and the failure to accommodate diverse abilities." (Source: oxfordreviewcom) Stigma is at the heart of difference.

The 'assumptions'

People often make assumptions and rely on common stereotypes about us – so much so that they may not fully consider the impact of their words or even realize what they’re saying. In many instances, we end up being unfairly blamed or treated as the scapegoat. While these judgments aren’t always intended to hurt, when it comes to disability, it’s hard to escape a poorly timed joke or someone being unkind. Growing up, I faced judgments from two directions: my disability and being a twin. Having a condition that I later came to understand as a disability meant people frequently tried to put me into certain boxes. On top of that, my twin and I were often viewed as a single unit, rather than as two different individuals, with different personalities.

It's great when both of you are thriving, but it becomes complicated when one of you faces challenges and the other gets unfairly judged and you become affected by it. That is what happened to me. It is because I live with autism that I sometimes struggle with communication, and in those moments, I can really feel the weight of people’s assumptions, on me as well.

With a Disability Not 'fitting in'

Then there's the guilt. The subtle ways society make us feel as though we should feel guilty for not fitting in, and for not contributing in the way others think we should. It’s exhausting to continually have to prove that you're not a burden. I go back to a mental disability – because I am a burden. It's not me being melodramatic, like Mychaela, it's me being honest and real.

Ruminating

The nature of living with a physical, mental or emotional disability means we may also ruminate on occasion. We may go around the houses a few times before we're settled. The reality is that when the world in general treats us like we're a problem to solve, it’s hard for us not to start believing it.

But this isn’t their story. It’s mine. And maybe I don’t owe anyone an apology, or an explanation, or a performance that makes my disability easier for them to handle. Maybe my story doesn’t have to be about overcoming my disability to prove my worth. Maybe it’s about living fully, unapologetically, as I am, without fitting into their shallow narratives of villain, hero, or burden? My story is just about being me."