If being locked inside your heard, without drive, energy or motivation is depression, then that is what I have. Being locked away is never a conscious decision, but a coping mechanism. I just exist.
Depression and Lifestyle Changes
It is possible though with help to make small changes when dealing with depression, just through simple lifestyle changes. It doesn't have to be anything big, but it can help avoid the need to cut yourself off. Mindset is very much key.
Eating a healthier diet, challenging the negativity brought about by being surrounded by negativity and taking rest and relaxation, when we need it. Feeling better takes time, but taking steps so that we make positive choices for ourselves helps, as does drawing on the support from those we can trust.
Small Goals
Start with a few small goals. Take one day at a time and reward yourself for anything you accomplish. Putting the energy back into recovery, can give us so much back in return. It is all about those small steps.
I agree with everything you say. Sometimes things in life are out of our control, but if you work through it you will get to a much better place. I am living proof of that. Depression can be very bad. I have been in that very bad place in my life once, thank God only once, to the point I was thinking of taking my own life. It is a very hard place to come back from but I did it. The sun will shine again. I am glad I fought and won. Now I am much happier. Life does get better.
I'm so glad Randy you came through and that you are in a much happier place. As you say yourself, you are living proof that no-one has to stay where they are. Glad you made it through.
When you're in that place everything seems impossible. I find myself there occasionally. We think "what's the use?" Once you start to dig out one step at a time you'll figure it out. It's getting started that's hard for me. Like with my husband. I can talk to him about a problem and it's like he hears me but doesn't act on anything. We need the support of people we can rely on. I think that's very important to our sanity.
You're probably not alone Lisa. I think you are absolutely right in what you say about support, but we all come into relationships with some form of baggage that tends to play a part in how we behave with each other, either from a previous marriage or from families growing up, through the generations. The way our parents behave with us, often comes from the way their parents have behaved with them.
Once you are in a depression it is very hard to come out of one, but there are strategies that can help. As you say Lisa support is very instrumental as is changing the way we think. The way your husband behaves is an example. You say he listens but doesn't act, something I believe his behavior could be changed with a little more effort. Stress and life can also play a part in the way we behave. Sometimes the effort seems almost too great, or seems virtually impossible to change.
I believe it can be changed though, no-one has to stay where they don't want to be. We play out learned behavior that needs to be re-learned again. I will be researching ways to help us change those patterns.