A lot has happened in the last week and a half and I’m now working on getting clarity back in my life. In life we don’t always know if decisions we make that seem right at the time, will work out the way we hope and as a  result we're left with a new situation to deal with.

We’re still working through trauma from last year, which doesn’t seem to be abating. There is no argument that what Daniel was left with last year, after the assault took place, needed correcting. Going ahead with surgery is always a gamble. Sometimes the gamble pays off and sometimes it doesn't. We rely on other people’s judgment and expertise to pull us through. We trust them.

It’s too early to say at this stage whether the surgery Daniel had a week ago, has been a success.  Until the swelling goes down, we won't know whether it’s been a complete success and which is why it's making this much harder.

I'm happy that we have something to work on though. Emotionally we have to find clarity and a new understanding and that is what we’re trying to do.

I’m trying not to dwell or draw on the past or asking any more questions. We need to have complete rest so that our mind is clear  and so that new decisions can be made; if we need to.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Where we're at now”

  1. I personally think Daniel made the right decision for him. He was and is the one that has to live with looking himself in the mirror every day. It will make him feel better about himself. That is the main thing.

    I think in time you will all heal and move on and this will be a bad memory.

  2. You all have been through so much in a year, I hope things get a lot better for you soon. I'm hoping for the best for Daniel.

    You guys are a great support system for him.

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