There comes a time in our life when having tried everything, we find ourselves calling time on our relationship. Sometimes it’s because we feel we have no choice, but perhaps it doesn’t always mean the other person’s ready to call time.
When the other person is unreasonable, selfish and uncharitable and only thinks about them, there’s no reason why they would call time. They’re usually the ones who journey along in life, thinking others are the problem.
Calling time
Some of us may realise how we are, others may continue to live in denial that there’s actually a problem. But calling time is a call for help, that something needs to change. Calling time in the longer term, gives us control to go back in and change things if that’s what we choose to do.
There would be no point going back in on the same terms. If we're already calling time, we're telling the other person, things must change. Going back in to talk is always a good starting point. If we're still happy to go back in, we'll be able to outline what changes need to be made.
Getting your message across
Calling time is often the only way for us to get the message across that we’re not happy in the relationship. Not everyone listens or sees the signs and when they do it’s usually too late. Of course, if nothing changes after that, it will be your choice to call time for good.
I agree with you. My daughter is in a relationship like this. Her 'boyfriend' is self centered, selfish and doesn't care about her, because if he did he would take care of her like she takes care of him. She has to see it, I can't make the decision for her.
I've been in a relationship like this before and had to just call it quits for good for myself and my daughter.
Sometimes we have to talk to the person first as you suggested and try to get them to open their eyes if we can.
You're absolutely right in what you say Lisa, our children have to see it for themselves. All you can do is sit back and wait.
Hard times for all concerned. I hope things work out in the end.
Good post. I'm sure many people will recognise these traits.
Thanks. I'm sure you're right. I know I have.
There are only so many times you can try to make a relationship work. If it doesn't, it is sometimes better to walk away, otherwise you are banging your head against a brick wall.
I agree with you. Sometimes we're left with no choice at all but to walk away.
It would be great if that were possible to do, but that isn't always the case. I've been in far too many relationships where I know it was just smarter to run away while I still could!
I would say that my girlfriend and I are actually doing that by going to couples counseling which has seemed to help somewhat. I know that normal people are able to decide when it's a good time to do that.
I'm hoping that eventually I can learn this skill to deal with certain people (especially family) so that I could actually be able to lead a somewhat normal life myself.
Sometimes it's difficult to see what options or choices we have when we're going through personal stress. We often think others have their lives better and never think about ourselves and what we can do to put our own life right.
Of course it depends on the circumstances, but running away without dealing with our issues isn't always the answer. We tend to run away with our problems in tow, particularly if we're running away from our own personal stress.
If you're happy with whom you're with but you both have stress coming in, which is putting a strain on your relationship, then you need to take that stress away and things should be better. Couples counselling will of course help.
This is why so many relationships fail. Stress and behaviour brought in because of stress I feel play the biggest part in us calling time on our relationships. It doesn't always have to.