As children, we don’t stop to think what our lives will be like. We assume if decisions are made, they are made with the best of intentions, until of course we begin to understand our lives, how things are, then we understand that too. For some of us childhood is an abject lesson in how not to parent when it comes to our own children. As these problems continue to happen and they invariably do, we must find the resolve to let go.
I guess I learned from my parents not to be over protective of our children and not to give them everything.
That's the way my parents were with me because I had Diabetes and they at that time didn't know how long I would live. It has made me feel bad for my sister who had to pay for a lot of her own things and education herself.
That's another don't. We shouldn't treat each child differently even if they have some sort of disease process. It can cause strained relationships between siblings.
Thanks Lisa. I would go so far as to say it does, particularly when differences are made on what we deal with.
Although my father paid for me to have a treat before he took me on my yearly visit to the hospital, my physical problems were ignored the rest of the time. Not sure whether my siblings were affected by that, they've never actually said.
I think you're right parents are good teachers that way. I notched up lessons from my parents on how not to parent.
In many respects I was lucky as my parents had a very 'hands off' approach to my parenting, because I was more mischievous than most children and my parents didn't know how to handle that side of me. That parental vacuum could have gone badly wrong (it came close on occasions) but thankfully I never really got into deep trouble.
I have however, also learned valuable lessons from others parents on not how to parent when that parenting has been too controlling.
Overall both experiences have shown me how not to do it.
Your last paragraph is key. We tend to learn the opposite from our parents, unless of course there are certain aspects to their parenting that we agree with.
That's life.