Hearing about other people’s health issues, gives me something else to cope with. That feeling I had when I first heard the news of my mother’s terminal illness, the feeling of foreboding where I couldn’t go back to where I was before I heard the news, yet the news would catapult me into a different place so that I had to deal with her illness.
We tend to go through phases, where we only seem to hear bad news and it’s hard not to be affected by that. I believe in some small way some of us may be emotionally affected by what we hear, we’re only human after all. This is something I’ve always struggled with ever since I was a small child.
Yes, I too think some of us are truly affected by the illnesses around us. It really took it's toll on me when my father became ill. I always thought that he would be here for a long time and when he became ill with cancer my world was shattered.
Of course at the same time I was dealing with my own illness and the stress from my father was having a worse affect on me. Then my mother's illness came back into the picture after my father passed. She had a heart attack and surgery for that, then a year later her cancer came back and she battled it for almost 9 years.
I thought she would beat it, but it finally won and she passed. Now I'm dealing with my son's illnesses and still mine which will always be there.
Thanks Lisa. The pattern of illness you're working through sounds very much like mine. From the moment my mother was diagnosed to my father's passing with other major problem in between; we've had nothing else to concentrate on and that's hard.
I look forward to a time when I can emotionally close the door on illness. I agree with you that other people's illness when we have our own things to deal with, can have a worse effect on our mental health.
My mother always seemed to have something wrong with her, so we got used to the chaos that often surrounded this news.
It was very confusing because they never really explained what was going on, so we didn't know if it was serious or not. It made for such a stressful environment and got to the point where we didn't take it very seriously.
Believe me I can understand how you felt, as I was also a very sensitive child, caring and compassionate so I would be very concerned about my mother. They were very often not very discrete about talking about things around us, which would be very distressing.
It's no wonder I learned how to dissociate at a very early age because I didn't understand what was happening! Now I'm trying to learn how to really connect with people on a deeper level without getting drawn into their drama.
People have used this against me to take advantage of my caring nature, which I wasn't very good on picking up on. It's not that I don't care anymore I just have to learn where to draw the line.
Definitely easier said than done sometimes!
Thanks Randy. It must have been very hard for you as a child having to deal with your mother having something wrong with her all of the time. It's not something a child should have to deal with. I know in some circumstances children end up blaming themselves. I hope you know this wasn't your fault.
I suppose I was lucky in a way. This is one area of my life that my parents were very discreet about. If they were ill I didn't know they were ill.
I hope you're able to bring a close on this soon.