Dealing with issues will always come first, but did you know that dealing with issues for an extended period of time may eventually affect our ability to cope? That the less we learn from childhood, the more anxiety and stress we will have. It all stems from our parents.

As parents, it is only natural that we want to mollycoddle and protect our children from the harsh realities of life. That happened to me, but it had nothing to do with my cerebral palsy and whilst I don’t agree with completely throwing children in at the deep end, I do believe we have to strike a balance so that children learn and understand how to function independently.

Our inability to cope comes from not knowing how to adapt into our lives. As children when we’re constantly being told what to do, it will have the opposite effect on us. Children need the support to be encouraged to think for themselves, or they will fail to understand how to adapt into their lives.

As parents, it’s our job to point things out in a way that doesn't belittle our children. As long as children understand where and why they’re going wrong, they will always learn to get back up on their feet. No parent wants their child to struggle, but children must learn to overcome hardships through a small element of struggle.

I believe our ability to cope come through small elements of struggle, when we begin to learn everything we need to know about ourselves. It's how we learn.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Parenting differently”

  1. I was very protective of my daughter when she was little and I'm a little bit more lenient with my son now.

    My daughter has said more than once how she notices the difference in how I treated her compared to how I am with my son. Of course my son is special needs and is going to be treated a little differently from her. It seems like we have to put a little more effort to prepare our special needs children for their future.

    I agree with you also.

    1. Thanks Lisa. Having been overly protected by my parents, I set out to do the total opposite with my own children.

      Of course dealing with special needs is a different problem. There will always be times where you have to make allowances. Of course it depends on what their special needs are, but all children must be treated uniquely, individually and fairly and I think that's where we often go wrong.

      We forget they also have needs even if their needs aren't special needs. Being overly protective doesn't help any child cope in the outside world.

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