The hard part is knowing when it’s time to turn your back on something or someone. There are two trains of thought here. Understanding what we’re turning our backs on and when it is time to give up.
If it’s someone we're struggling with and they're continually making us stressed, then it is right to walk away. However, much we try to help others, unless they want our help, they may not accept help. Not everyone is ready or understand they need help.
Then there’s the guilt when we choose to walk away. If on the other hand it’s something we're trying to achieve for ourselves, it is okay to give ourselves a goal, a deadline. It is important to know whether what we’re trying to achieve, is achievable.
Turning our back on someone or something, can be part of the healing process, but it isn't a decision that is taken lightly or easily, but one that may be necessary.
Sometime turning our back is the most appropriate course of action and I see that as being a positive thing to do. As the saying goes,'there is no point flogging a dead horse' and that just about says it all.
But we should not see that as defeatist or negative, when it's right to walk away then that's a good thing.
Thank you. Yes turning our backs on, or walking away from any behaviour that is less than conciliatory, is always appropriate in my book.
On the contrary, it doesn't mean we've failed, it just means we deserve peace.
This seems to be one of my biggest downfalls, since I have such a hard time turning my back on anyone!
I'm guessing it's probably because I was forced to take care of others as a kid and I know the feeling when others turn their backs on you. I like to say that I have always been a sucker for a sob story and a pretty face! The only problem is that these damsels in distress, wanted to be rescued, but not by me.
I seem to have had the same issue with toxic friends who knew how to play me like a fiddle. Hate to say, but I have come to believe that nice guys do finish last
The biggest lesson I have learned (the hard way) is that you can't help those who refuse to help themselves. You can give them the greatest advice, making it extremely easy for them to do what they need to do and they still want to do things their own way, even if it's obviously the wrong thing.
I'm sure this has been how other people felt when they did the same thing for me and I did the same thing, so it shouldn't be so surprising. The difference with me, is that I'm learning how to listen to advice and not making the same mistakes I used to!
Now all I have to do is take care of some of the messes that I made by my mistakes so I can get on with my life.
Thanks Randy. Yes a lot of it is learned behaviour. We know and do what we've been expected to do, but that's not always right.
As harsh as it sounds (and I'm not meaning it to) I would always choose to turn my back on those who are less than conciliatory or not conciliatory at all. Having found life particularly tough already, I'm not looking to add more stress to my life.
I hope that the advice you're getting is helping and that the right people are in your life now. It's a work in progress for us all in effect and is part of life.