Anger not only tarnishes character but also clouds judgment. On the other hand, a whole person will rise above and find ways to alleviate anger, if that's what they feel. Being whole doesn't mean you won't feel angry, it just means you're better equipped to deal with how you feel.
Anger is a 'Poison Chalice'
The angrier we are, the more we are poisoned by anger, the less we will rationale anger, particularly anger that stems negative cumulative past experiences. Being angry means you're more likely to rely on cognitive shortcuts, rather than on systematic reasoning.
Back to Basics
But anger isn’t something we just come through without working on ourselves. It's back to basics, it's understanding anger. Angry people are too quick to blame individuals, rather than look at themselves.
Anger Clouds your Judgment
Leftover anger will always continue to cloud judgment often without being aware we're angry. Not the best scenario for anyone trying to steer a course in both their personal and work life. But choose accountability – because that changes how you see and use your feelings to change what you need to change.
Find Acceptance on Anger
As you work through anger, you can change through the process, choosing to find acceptance, rather than continue to blame others for how your life turns out. I could have chosen to continue to live with anger. You can choose to live a life fuelled with anger, or you can choose to do something about it.
Work Towards Being 'Whole'
But even through anger, life is about us working towards being whole, not accepting that you need to live with anger. Being whole is living with harmony, where the body, soul and spirit come together. It's choosing to live in such a way that every aspect of your life is interrelated in a health-conscious way and being able to adapt to all circumstances.
Yes, it most certainly does and the end result seems to be always making decisions based on our feelings that are clouded by anger.
I have wasted most of my life being fuelled by anger and resentments, which has only served to make my life lonely and miserable. The only one who has really suffered the most has been me, while those who I feel have wronged me, have gone on to live very peaceful lives.
I have been angry about this, plus the fact that I seemed to be incapable of standing up for myself, which is what I have to do now. Part of my being in 'AA' is supposedly learning how to let go of these feelings and move on, but how do you really do this when it's all you've ever known?
I find myself locked into what seems to be a never-ending battle with myself, while not seeming to know how to do things differently. It also seems like I can't break away from a relationship that is very toxic when I know the best thing to do is just to let go and move on.
The angry part of myself, tells me that I can't walk away with my tail between my legs, because I have more control of my environment than I ever have. It just irritates me to no end that I will probably have to end up doing this, since I live with a person who doesn't understand the concept of compromise.
I have wasted far too much time expecting this person to change, when it's pretty obvious she thinks she has all the power in the relationship and isn't willing to change.
Anger is what I have to let go of at whether I want to or not, so that I can save what tiny amount of sanity I have left.
Randy although we've had different trauma to deal with, dealing with the emotional side of what we've had is the same, particularly us holding on to anger. Like you, I found it difficult to let it go as a child.
I can resonate with you, wanting to let go, but finding it difficult, not knowing how to find peace with letting go. I have done what you have done for too many years that I care to remember. The biggest guilt I carried was over my education, made worse because no one was taking responsibility.
I carried that guilt for 25 years until the penny dropped that my education was never about me at all. I'd stupidly made my education about me and it never was, I was the child. It was up to my parents to steer me through school and help me with my difficulties.
You're in the same place I was. It doesn't matter that we didn't get our apology. Just know the issues you have were never about you and move on. It's the same with your living circumstances. The more you dwell, the more you will dig your heels, the more you'll stay stuck.
Instead, empower yourself and take back control and move on. You'll have peace when your mind is at ease with the decisions you make to move on and you leave all of these issues behind.
I know from experience in my own family that being angry can be harmful to your wellbeing. It does cloud your thinking and can lead to making decisions you would otherwise not make and may well regret.
It's better we learn how to control our emotions than let our emotions control us.
Thanks. Yes, I agree being angry will always impair our judgment. Growing up, I have lived around control and anger, so I know anger doesn't work.
I also agree that it's important we control our emotions rather than let our emotions control us. It stands to reason that the more angry we are, the less control we will have.
The CP Diary shows me how to inhale and exhale instead of being angry. I get tired of being a wolf anyway, it doesn't solve anything.
Thanks Tim. Yes, being angry doesn't help us it puts a few walls up. I'll let you into a secret.
The CP Diary keeps my focused and helps me cope with my emotions around anxiety from my autism symptoms.
Like you my blogs also give me a different way to think.