Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities.
She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges.
In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines.
Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.
Something inspirational: “Think wrongly, if you please, but in all cases think for yourself.” DORIS LESSING Thinking for yourself means more than having your own opinions. It means owning your words, your choices, and ...
Something inspirational: "We are not what happened to us. We are what we choose to become.” JAMES HOLLIS "I am drawn to James Hollis's words: 'We are not what happened to us. We are what we choose ...
Something inspirational: "Healing begins when we can hold our own experience with compassion." TARA BRACH Brach's quote reminds us that healing begins when we meet our pain with kindness instead of judgement ...
Respect is something I have always given to people whether or not they deserved it. It's been difficult when I've had to earn, not getting it from people even when I've given it to them first.
This is probably why I always have such a hard time in social settings, as I don't really know what's appropriate as no one ever really taught us the difference.
I grew up in a world with so many mixed messages that never made a lot of sense, so it's no wonder I'm often confused.
I feel like I have to constantly explain to people who think I behave a certain way intentionally, but it's so very far from the truth.
Thanks Randy. Yes, our behaviour comes from what we've seen and learned in our formative years; through our parents, our lifestyle and our environment.
I've had it too, but as the adult we must take back control and re-learn for ourselves what's appropriate. What stops us are the unconscious patterns we learn that we never correct.
And whilst it's true we're expected to give blood and sweat, there comes a time when we must question why we're doing it.
Long gone are the days when we blindly give respect because it is expected. Respect has to be earned as you say.
When we treat people selflessly with compassion and care then we may go some way to receiving respect back, it's not a given by virtue of position or birthright.
I once told a close relative that respect must be earned and that didn't go down well for me at all. He firmly believed it was an automatic right.
But years on respect must be earned. My views haven't changed. There are cultures that believe different, but times have moved on and so must people's thinking.
I agree with you and as this quote reaffirms our thinking, respect isn't given by virtue of position or birthright.
Thanks Tim. Yes, it's a shame we don't all work from the same page. When it comes to family, we're expected to tow the party line.
But respect is a two way street. For any relationship to work, respect must be part of that equation and it must work equally. Showing respect to underserving people does rub us up the wrong way, you're right, but it helps keep the peace.
It's difficult to walk away from any relationship where respect isn't served. I would say in those circumstances, and I've done it myself, put distance between you.
Respect is something I have always given to people whether or not they deserved it. It's been difficult when I've had to earn, not getting it from people even when I've given it to them first.
This is probably why I always have such a hard time in social settings, as I don't really know what's appropriate as no one ever really taught us the difference.
I grew up in a world with so many mixed messages that never made a lot of sense, so it's no wonder I'm often confused.
I feel like I have to constantly explain to people who think I behave a certain way intentionally, but it's so very far from the truth.
Thanks Randy. Yes, our behaviour comes from what we've seen and learned in our formative years; through our parents, our lifestyle and our environment.
I've had it too, but as the adult we must take back control and re-learn for ourselves what's appropriate. What stops us are the unconscious patterns we learn that we never correct.
And whilst it's true we're expected to give blood and sweat, there comes a time when we must question why we're doing it.
Long gone are the days when we blindly give respect because it is expected. Respect has to be earned as you say.
When we treat people selflessly with compassion and care then we may go some way to receiving respect back, it's not a given by virtue of position or birthright.
I once told a close relative that respect must be earned and that didn't go down well for me at all. He firmly believed it was an automatic right.
But years on respect must be earned. My views haven't changed. There are cultures that believe different, but times have moved on and so must people's thinking.
I agree with you and as this quote reaffirms our thinking, respect isn't given by virtue of position or birthright.
I nearly bite my tongue when I show respect to undeserving people, a formality that rubs me the wrong way. Thank God for long handled spoon's.
Thanks Tim. Yes, it's a shame we don't all work from the same page. When it comes to family, we're expected to tow the party line.
But respect is a two way street. For any relationship to work, respect must be part of that equation and it must work equally. Showing respect to underserving people does rub us up the wrong way, you're right, but it helps keep the peace.
It's difficult to walk away from any relationship where respect isn't served. I would say in those circumstances, and I've done it myself, put distance between you.