"I grew up in an era where children whatever squabbles or grievances they had, they were told 'you're as bad as each other.' There was no mediation, so my protests went unheard.

It was at a time when parents didn't seem to do much mediation to help their children. But whatever stress parents are under, their stress shouldn't be ours. It's important children have their emotional needs met, so that they can grow into well-balanced adults.

Although my hospital visits were met, my other needs were ignored. When I look back, I can’t believe this was my life. But no matter what parents deals with, it is important they deal with their issues, change how they perceive those, so they can build on a better relationship with their children and give their children what they need.

As parents we should try to be the best parents we can be, so that our children can be the best, when they become adults and then parents. The era we're born into shouldn't come into it. Being ignored meant my mental health would continue to struggle."

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “When Children are Ignored”

  1. I was ignored as a child, with a sibling both older and younger that my parents concentrated their attentions on.

    Thankfully, that meant I was able to grow and develop through my own experiences without any negative parental influences. I met my own needs.

    I consider myself lucky, but I did have developmental issues which were ignored and that should never be allowed to play out, as it means a child's basic needs are not being met.

    As you have shown, those needs will resurface in later life as bigger, more complicated issues with more serious manifestations.

    1. 'I met my own needs.' Yes, it's good that you were self-sufficient that you were capable and able to help yourself.

      No child should have to deal with neglect. Looking back, you've said your parents did you a favour, because you were able to shape your life in the way you wanted your life to go.

      With my disability issues and through 'helicopter parenting' I struggled with the control. Leaving home didn't change everything initially.

      It's easy to live the life as a consequence of something. Childhood has everything to do with that.

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