"As a teenager, I remember overhearing a conversation when my mum asked my father what his doctor friend had said about my disability. His friend who was a medical doctor, had a severely disabled daughter with cerebral palsy.

It was clear my father's doctor friend was aware I hadn't been told. I think my father must have been feeling bad, but that conversation sealed my fate, when it was decided my disability was mild enough for me not to be told.

Decades later and having asked my father about my disability and why I wasn't told about cerebral palsy, I was told by my father he didn't want to know. I never made the connections, because growing up not knowing about my disability, I didn't connect with anything that related to a disability."

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “My Fate Sealed”

  1. It’s hard to read another example of how your disability was kept from you, by those who you would expect to protect you.

    All I can say is that you wouldn’t be doing all the amazing work you do, had your journey been a different one. I believe this way was mapped out for you all along.

    1. Thanks. Yes, it doesn't make it any easier to contemplate. I love that I get to do what I do, but a little more support would have helped me move on with my thinking.

      I need to stop wishing things were different. Wishing won't change my past.

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