The word trauma describes continuous negative events that are emotionally painful that long-term interfere, with a child’s ability to cope – ‘Google.’
Children who are continually exposed to abuse can be affected by trauma. The types of trauma that have the greatest psychological effects are those related to intentional trauma, including childhood neglect and abuse. It is clear the trauma inflicted on me was intentional. Who grows up unaware they have a disability?
Childhood trauma
Experiencing childhood trauma can make children, sick adults. Children who are continually exposed to trauma and abuse may develop a sudden stress response, which if left untreated, can impact their ability to function around their emotions. It can also lead to sleep difficulties, lower immune function and increased physical illness in adulthood.
Where childhood is centred around trauma and includes abuse, very little discussion will take place around trauma. But the issues around childhood trauma cannot be ignored. It’s not always easy to pin-point trauma, or understand why you have trauma, unless you understand its response.
Buried trauma
But trauma is sometimes buried because it’s too painful to deal with. When it comes to trauma around family, we rationale and continue with our lives. Short term that works, but its long-term effects will eventually impact how we respond.
Trauma interferes with emotions
Trauma interferes with our emotions and will bring up a variety of coping behaviours that can if we let it, interfere with our relationships. Dealing with trauma can unlock gratitude and optimism and give us a renewed appreciation of life.
Healing from trauma
It is possible to heal trauma for good and become stronger for it. It depends on our attitude and how we choose to deal with it. Trauma is not something children should have to live with.
My childhood trauma was unusual in that it was the opposite of most children's experiences. Mine was as a result of hands off parenting; no real boundaries, discipline, or role model, so I was left to my own devices.
Thankfully I am here to tell the story, but when I look back while I can laugh at some of the scrapes I get into, I know I could have got into much more serious trouble than I did.
My parents certainly excelled in demonstrating how not to do parenting.
Thanks. I would say that although what you had wasn't great, the advantage was you moulded yourself into the person you became.
We all need boundaries. That could also backfire, particularly with no clear boundaries. Not having to adhere to any growing up, means you got to make and break your own rules, which doesn't tie in with other people's rules and society as a whole.
Although it's not a parent's job to mould and control their children, there has to be a balance so children understand how they are expected to conform to relationships and into society as a whole.
It's clear both your parents failed to do that with you. Not the best of scenarios for you.