Emotional or mental trauma is based on living a traumatic life. Not knowing I had cerebral palsy or autism, and having to live each day with the consequences, were traumatic.

Being able to write, means I have a platform to be able to piece together my traumatic life.

Relationships are based on trust

I am struggling with how I got to this place. Relationships are based on trust and as a child you trust. I am not cross with myself, I am cross with how I was made to get to this place.

When the knocks keep coming

Every day I am reminded of how I got to this place. The knocks still keep coming. I need to reconcile how I got to this place and for those responsible to reconcile what they've put me through.

My book Cerebral Palsy ‘A Story’ is available to buy in Waterstones, Salts Mill, The Grove Ilkley, Kenilworth Books, Amazon Prime UK amzn.to/2qrpiy8 and Amazon US amzn.to/2WPE2Vy

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “How I Got to this Place”

  1. One of the fundamental pillars of any relationship is trust. This was nothing to do with you, you were the child and are admonished of any responsibility.

    I would think the writing process has been both healing and fracturing at the same time and it is certainly not for you to reconcile. What you can do is accept it, because it cannot be changed; but know the responsibility was never yours.

    1. Thanks. Yes, you're right on all fronts. Out of everything I have had to come to terms with, this is the one area that I have struggled with. Before I wrote the blog it was fracturing as you say, healing now that I have written about it.

      Where responsibility is not taken, it is difficult to reconcile fully, but my spiritual beliefs know there is truth in your words. Spirit also knows where the responsibility lies. No one is ever free of their wrongdoings.

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