How we react and continue to interpret and react to certain situations can bring about anger and anger that turn into issues. We may all have our personal triggers for what makes us angry.

Anger issues

My anger issues, which lasted a good part of my early life, were triggered because I didn't know about my disability.  I was struggling in my day to day life, with a physical, mental and emotional disability, I knew nothing about.

Holding on to anger

It is a natural human emotion to hold on to anger when our needs aren’t being met. My anger sadly became normalised. I was irritated, powerless, and frustrated because my needs to connect with my physical issues (a disability) didn’t happen.

Anger itself isn’t bad, because it is telling those around you, they need to help address why you have anger. Many things can trigger anger, including stress, financial worries and family problems.

For anyone dealing with someone who has anger, these pointers may help:

  • Listen and then validate what the other person has to say so they feel validated. Part of the reason people are angry is because they lack validation;
  • Instead of raising your voice, respond by lowering your voice and speak slowly, so there is no reason for confrontation;
  • When the other person feels you’re hearing what they have to say, it means you understand what the other person has said, matters to them.

Anger happens for a reason, therefore it’s important to stand back to understand why someone may have anger.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Anger Issues”

  1. You were angry for a reason and your issues weren't being addressed.

    I am fortunate that I have not been subject to outward anger issues - rather more under-current than explicit, but even as a child I recognised those signs.

    Any form of anger should not tolerated, but it is still too prevalent and too many are subject to abusive anger. It is important we don't accept such behaviour and where possible do something about it.

    Sometimes there is no choice but to remove ourselves from angry people and situations and your advice above is good to bear in mind.

    We should be responsible for our own anger. With help we can change by recognising what makes us angry and addressing those issues.

    1. Thank you. Yes, under-current anger can be dangerous and it can linger far longer than outward anger.

      Although I wouldn't advocate either, because anger is anger. For those who deal with anger, it is important to sort anger out.

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