I woke up this morning with a memory of my mum asking me to do my usual exercises.
That would have been fine, but had my parents understood what they were asking me to do, they would have known the exercises I was doing wouldn’t have helped in the way they said they would. I grew up with the words: 'you can’t have a pretty face without a pretty leg,' ringing in my ears and that was her reasoning for my exercising.
Cerebral Palsy isn’t something you can correct, it never gets better, but with exercise it can keep joints supple and us moving. I wish my parents had have given straight answers to my many questions. My many questions went unanswered. Not knowing until much later on, meant there was no reasoning behind anything I did in my childhood as far as Cerebral Palsy was concerned.
When I understand and there is logic in what I need to deal with, I am usually happy to conform. Because what was implied didn't make sense to me, I was reluctant to do as I was told. None of the exercises I have done over the years have changed the way I look with Cerebral Palsy.
For many years, my mum implied that with exercise things would change. I think my reluctance came about, because deep down I knew that wasn’t true. Over the years it's something I’ve had to come to terms with.
With Cerebral Palsy we cannot change the way we look. The condition is permanent, but with continued exercise we can make sure we stay supple and mobile.
As you know, I am one of the many that think what your parents did was wrong. Maybe they were in denial, but they still should have put you first and found out what was causing the problems you have.
With every condition, I think there are things that we can do to at least help. With my diabetes, eating right and exercise helps to control my blood sugars and with type 2 diabetes I think if people stuck with a strict diet and exercise they would go a long way in almost curing it.
The type 1 that I have is incurable but manageable. With CP as you have said, exercise will keep the muscles supple and flexible.
Thanks Lisa. I know my father particularly, found it difficult to deal with what I had. Without the support, it's not always easy to function and without finding out what we have, it does make what we deal with impossible. There were so many questions I wanted answers to, but had none.
As you say and I agree, with every condition there are things we can do to at least help, even if they're not curable.
It's funny how we often wake up with thoughts in our head that have somehow unconsciously got there.
Maybe it was just time to close that thought down and put it away somewhere. More importantly though, you are tackling the emotional side of CP and ourselves daily and that is something you have shown us, you can change.
These thoughts periodically come back. I write to bring closure on all aspects of my experiences and I'm sure I will on this too.
I wish I had have had the courage to tackle that scenario differently when I was a child. I am sure if I had, I would feel so differently about it now. You're probably right, it probably is time to close that thought down.
I cannot change its history, neither can my parents, but I have to move on.