I can see how without actively thinking about our lives, we may end up copying the very people we should actively be seeking to distance ourselves from.

Personally, I’ve never understood those who choose to copy others, particularly when those they’re copying are less than squeaky clean. Perhaps we must give of our best without thinking about or choosing to copy other people.

Although we’re often conditioned to think a certain way, we’re individual and therefore must rely on our conscious thinking instead of relying on our unconscious conditioning that's been interfered with over the years.

Perhaps copying someone is all about ego. We tend to be attracted to and notice the ego of someone, more than we do the person, but it's the person we're supposed to have the relationship with. And perhaps it's also about admiration on our part.

The ego can never work long-term. Therefore, if we unconsciously choose not to admire, consciously we will stop admiring. Sadly, when we choose to copy, we’re telling others we have a problem with ourselves.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “A page from someone's book”

  1. I agree. If someone acts like someone else they may have a problem with themselves. We should really just be ourselves.

    1. Thanks Lisa. Yes, you're right we should really just be ourselves, but do we really know how to be ourselves? Life sadly gets in the way.

  2. Some people wear disguises as part of their wardrobe. But I prefer to be who I am and who I am not any day of the week.

    Of course, when I was younger I didn't always feel that way.

    1. It's really not surprising Tim. You're living your life correctly. But as children we're not really sure how we're supposed to be. We're still evolving.

      We're not sure about identity, who we are, what we're supposed to do, or who we're supposed to be. As we grow and look to our role models (mainly our parents) who don't always show us role model behaviour, we may still begin to copy.

      Of course, as our beliefs begin to kick in and we become more self-assured about things, about life, that's when we begin to live our lives through another person's eyes sometimes.

  3. I guess the question we should ask ourselves, is how would we be if we didn't care about what others thought?

    What matters is being true to ourselves not others. After all, we answer for ourselves.

  4. Thank you. Yes, your last sentence sums up your response nicely. Although I used to care about what others thought as a small child, for me it was a way of being accepted around my disability.

    Acceptance is a strange thing. We learn very quickly through culture and society that being accepted is part of a process that lets us join a club.

    The reality of course, is we don't need to part of that mind set. We merely need to be able to live and accept ourselves.

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