The last two journals have been poignant for me. They’ve also brought back many thoughts of what I get to deal with.
I cannot believe what a difference a week makes. My life a week ago seemed easier. We’ve all been working through new experiences. All the things I’ve been dealing with have been on the back burner for many months now. That was okay, because I wasn’t focusing on them; but on the back of such a tough week, they're back now.
Looking back there hasn’t been a time where things in my life have gone smoothly. I've all had things to deal with individually and now as a family. You would think we’d be used to dealing with yet more things. In theory it works, but in practice it never seems to work the same way.
We tell ourselves we can cope, but subconsciously our mind tells us something different. It plays out many a different story to the one our conscious mind plays out. I’ve never been one to run away. I’ve always faced my many issues and brought about closure one way or another.
Now I would love to be somewhere where I don’t have to think and where I don’t have to deal with things. That would be nice. I'm tired of having to think about what my next move has to be all the time.
The time when things seemed easier was a trip we did to Nice just before my mother passed away 4 years ago. Nothing since has gone right. I think things tend to happen that way and then from nowhere like a bolt out of the blue, those things seem to correct themselves.
Sounds like you've had a rough time of it recently and I agree it does seem at time that nothing is going right.
I can remember 2 or 3 years ago when a neighbour used to complain that everything was going wrong and no matter what they did nothing would go right. Looking at that neighbour now I think they would agree that everything is now going okay.
We do seem to struggle from one problem to the next at the moment but this will pass. All I want is for us as a family to keep well and to be happy.
Of course you're right, this time will pass. I know that what you want we would all want and that is for our families to be well and happy. I have every confidence it will come.
I understand what you are saying about after your mother died. I went through the same thing. Thank God I had support to get through it.
I never want or would wish even my worst enemy to go through that. Hopefully I will never experience that again in my lifetime. Nothing is ever the same afterwards, after losing a mother. Everything changes within the family unit.
Hopefully for you things will calm down and smooth out. I used to say when my mother was ill as long as there is life there is hope.
I'm sure things will smooth out sooner or later. They just can't come soon enough! Thanks for posting Randy.
I can relate all so much. Even though the problems are different. We also had a very tough time after my father passed. My mother had a heart attack and triple by-pass surgery.
Then one of my yearly tests came back as positive and then later my mothers cancer returned. It was very tough and rocky times for us. But we made it through some how. I really hope you can find smooth waters ahead soon.
I'm here for you and you're always in my thoughts.
Glad things are better for you. Thanks Lisa. It helps to know.