We spend our childhoods being told what to do, with parents making sure we do as we’re told. It is possibly one of the worst forms of parenting, not to mention a control issue, but parenting in that way, means we don’t grow up with an opinion of our own.

Something we may come to oppose and resist as we go into adulthood. We're born into families that expect us to conform without being encouraged to think for ourselves. I struggled to take orders as a child. I hated being told what to do, without being encouraged to explore possibilities myself.

We’re also held back because of culture, insecurities and ignorance, instead of what some parents think we may want for ourselves and allowing and encouraging us to make those things happen. Raising children is never an easy task, but the start off point for any parent should be to make sure that as a parent, they do better for their children, than their parents did for them.

Each generation should want to make things better, but sadly that's not always the case. On our part, it’s often only when something has been done, or continues to be done that we're not happy with, that we even consider change, but all change must come on a conscious level, otherwise history will always end up repeating itself.

Sadly, history does show it has a habit of repeating itself in abundance through the generations, which should be changed. When it's not, a new generation gets sidled with it.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “A resistant childhood”

  1. My culture told me that I needed an Easter basket and colored eggs to celebrate a lie. It never made any difference though, because I never bought it.

    I was always the guy on the outside living inside the madness.

    1. Thanks Tim. I've news for you. I was the girl on the outside living inside the madness. The trouble is that although we part equate our lives from a small age, we're not completely sure until we're old enough to understand our lives fully.

      We're also more willing to give people the benefit of the doubt at that age, because as children we're more trusting.

  2. I have little memory of being told what to do as a child. I wasn't told anything and my world pretty much started and ended with me.

    I don't know if I was stuck in a Catch-22 situation, whether I was difficult to parent so they gave up; or I was difficult because they gave up.

    1. Yes, you'll have your memories of how you were as a child, so you're probably not free of blame, but since it's a parent's job to parent regardless of whether the child is difficult is completely immaterial.

      Parenting doesn't stop because a child is difficult. It's up to a parent to find a way through; to bring that child into line. You'll have to ask, but even if you ask you may not get the answer you want.

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