We all need to heal, but instead we may ignore the signs or fail to understand what they are. We may not consciously think about the past and think we have moved on, but in truth, living consciously doesn't dismiss your wounds. Simply they're often just hidden beneath the surface, from view. But unresolved feelings from childhood (your inner child) rest-assured, will bubble up, affecting your relationships, your self-esteem, and even how you cope with challenges. When healing your inner child, do so without judgment, and use compassion.
Understanding the Need to Heal
I've always heard about the concept of the "inner child," but it wasn’t until I truly paused to reflect that I realised how much of my childhood still lived within me. Over the years I've dealt with unmet needs, pain and fear. Choosing to acknowledge my inner child, I hope will be one of the most transformative journeys of my life. I've only known and carried trauma. Every day we live with trauma, is another day our inner child takes a knock. The truth is that without our inner child healing, we cannot heal.
Steps Towards Healing
Listen to Your Inner Child
Pay attention to how your inner child feels. When you feel anxious or triggered, ask yourself, "what would my younger self be feeling right now?"
Talk to your Inner Child
One of the most comforting practices you can do is talk to your inner child. It may feel strange at first as you're doing it. But talking to it is self-care.
How to Talk to Your Inner Child
Tell yourself, "it's okay, I see you, and I understand, it's not your fault, you aren't to blame, you had no choices." These simple affirmations can help soothe the fears and insecurities you may be carrying.
Work on your issues
Over the years I've also had to do a lot of work on myself. Being born with something you don't you've got or why you have mental and emotional struggles manifests itself in everyday trauma. Every day the process was overwhelming – I needed to address those issues. Talk to your inner child – tell your inner child how you feel.
Embrace the Journey
For me, healing my inner child is an ongoing journey. It’s not about erasing the past, it's not possible to do that, but I've had to learn to live alongside it with understanding and be kind to myself. I’ve also had to learn to be patient with myself, to understand my past, so that I could take back control.
The transformation hasn’t been instant or perfect – but by caring for my inner child, I’ve found a deeper sense of peace, self-compassion and authenticity. If you’re on a similar path, know that it’s okay to take it one step at a time. Your inner-child deserves your love, patience, and understanding for a better life.
Healing the inner child. Thank you Ilana for your frankness and vulnerability that inspires others to listen to their inner child. We have all sorts of voices in us to understand, reform and reintegrate.
Your blog has inspired me to look at Family Constellations and Internal Family Systems more.
Hi Peter, thank you so much for your thoughtful message. I'm glad to hear that my reflections on healing the inner child have resonated with you.
By working on ourselves, we can better understand Internal Family Systems, which helps us to gain insight into ourselves and our relationships. Embracing our inner child, can be such a powerful and transformative journey.