When Something Becomes an Achievement in Itself

I particularly remember one of my father’s regular visits to my home after Mum died, when we got onto the subject of aspirations and I mentioned my writing and website, The CP Diary. I went on to explain, it never started as an aspiration, but it became one. I told him I had been writing for about six years. He said he was proud of me for sticking with it.

He went on to talk about the tenacity and staying power it must take to keep writing, but it wasn’t something he could have done. He knew himself well enough to know that he didn't have that same staying power. He went on to say how proud he was of my achievements – that if he’d had the chance, his one aspiration would have been to study when he was younger. His father had died so he went out to work to support his mother instead.

I had always been aware of Dad’s high standards, particularly around learning. I didn't know I had learning difficulties, but even as far back as a child I was aware that whatever I achieved I might not meet his standards. So to hear him speak about my writing in this way stood out. There was no uncertainty in what he was saying. He was genuinely impressed by what I had achieved.

I'd never had that. I remember his words vividly because, in that moment, his compliment felt easy to receive.

There was nothing else attached to it.

I never followed through or asked after that time whether he’d taken a look at my website. It would have been nice to know, but perhaps that wasn’t the point.