Angry people hurt people. It takes strength and courage from us to take a step back and remind ourselves that being angry, or hurt because we are hurt, doesn’t mean we have to hurt others.
Whether we’re on the receiving end, or we’re handing out the hurt, all our reactions stem from past experiences that lead us to certain assumptions we believe are true. We must remind ourselves that other people’s reactions towards us, are not about us. They are about what they have had to deal with in their past and what they continue to deal with in their present.
It’s something we must all work to change, there is no excuse. It’s wrong to lash out just because we can, and because we’re hurting. Inflicting hurt on others achieves nothing, and two wrongs don’t make a right. Just more hurt inflicted on those we love who have nothing to do with our hurt.
Unleashing our anger on to others only causes us more pain: where we project and take our anger out on others, those projections will make their way back to us. We cannot put hurt out there and not expect a dose of hurt back.
Other people’s malicious projections on us are an attack on themselves. Being angry doesn't give us the right to hurt people.
We shouldn't be surprised to receive it back if we hand it out, intentional or not.
We should all treat others the way we expect to be treated, with respect and compassion and as you say, that is something we can all work on to improve.
I'm not sure how many of us will equate our actions with what we get back, but having been on both sides of the coin around my own physical issues and have it done to me also, I know how the anger thing works.
Until we come to understand why we are angry, where that anger comes from we will never change being angry. I agree with you when you say, 'we shouldn't be surprised to receive it back if we hand it out' but perhaps that is our queue to take stock of why.
Whether someone else is the reason why we carry anger, we must deal with those anger issues. It's not enough to live with anger, continue to point the blame at others and still continue to hurt those close to us.
I agree we should all treat others the way we expect to be treated and with respect and compassion. But first we must deal with our anger.
I refuse to look at the world through angry eyes. Instead I'm trying to see something beyond anger, beyond reality.
I do this by knowing my journey is precious and not allowing hateful people near my side; I have enough issues of my own.
Thanks Tim. I think your last paragraph not only sums up your response, but your outlook on how we can tackle this particular issue of us being hurt by angry people, when we're able to keep a lid on how we feel, even if we do feel angry from time to time.
As children of course that is difficult to do, but as the adult we have to be able address and deal with our issues in an orderly fashion and that's what some of us struggle with. I love your attitude to life.
Even through your difficulties, you still have a sense of purpose and that is to get on with your life; to find ways through, rather than apportion blame on how your life has worked out.
Yes, I understand all too well. Sometimes we can hurt others unintentionally. I've done that before and feel so so guilty and bad if I ever hurt anyone, even if I hardly know them.
But there are some people that go around and hurt others without a care in the world. Those people are usually very self absorbed and pure heartless.
If we're related to someone like that and have to deal with them daily or more than we want, it's real hard to steer clear of them and not lash out from the hurt they've caused to so many people and ourselves.
I agree with your sentiments in their entirety Bonnie and you're absolutely right.
As you say, when it comes to family who direct their anger at us; it's absolutely impossible to steer clear of their anger, particularly when their anger becomes abusive.
As a child, if there is a legitimate case for what we feel, then it's up to our parents to help us work through our anger issues. As the adult it becomes up to us.
The problem is that so many adults with anger issues continue to blame others for where they are, and that impacts their relationship with others.
It's a fact that angry people hurt people, but it is no excuse. We must learn to deal with our anger so that we channel our anger into something more positive.