Do you know someone who is intent on keeping you in their life on their own terms and at arm's length? It tends to happen when there’s a history.

It’s usually something that builds up over time, but if you’re not particularly bothered about the relationship being kept at arm's length, it may not be such a problem and usually has its advantages. In some ways it will probably make life easier, because that person isn’t in your life full time, therefore you have less to worry or think about.

For some of us though, this kind of relationship may be more stressful, because of having to keep up the pretence. If that is the case, it would always be worth choosing where you stand.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

Most people who read this blog

went on to read these blogs next
Date 13 November 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

Looking Back With Different Eyes

On discovering things later in life and reconsidering what we thought we knew It is deeply unsettling to find out something years after it happened, particularly when that information changes the way you see ...
Read more
Date 8 November 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

Building a Life Without the Emotional Support

Learning to live with what was missing With time has come a different understanding, not only of the experiences that shaped me, but of myself. Of what it means to build a life without the emotional support I needed, and what ...
Read more
Date 4 November 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

The Two Versions of Me

The loss of my twin, my identity, my health and tinnitus Four years in and there are two versions of me. I call them Ilana 1 and Ilana 2. Ilana 1 was the woman I was when my twin was alive. She was healthier, didn't live with ...
Read more
1 2 3 … 692

4 comments on “Arm's length relationships”

  1. I don't think I have experienced this. Either a person is in my life or they aren't. It's always been that way with me.

    I don't have many outside relationships, (outside of family.)

    Reply

    1. Thanks Lisa. I'm pleased you have never experienced this type of relationship. Friends and family are either in your life or they're not.

      That's the way it should be.

      Reply

  2. I think it's necessary and tactical to keep some people at arm's length to limit their access to your space.

    There are some people I love and there are some people I love more from a distance.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to receive regular updates

Enter your details below to be the first to receive updates on new articles on my blog. 
© The CP Diary • In Dedication of Jesse Bauer | Privacy Policy
Website Design by Fallen Leaf