"On my struggle days I hate autism, but I know it’s still a gift. Every day as I write through my mind with free flow, I am aware that trying to find the words when I am verbally speaking to someone, is impossible.
Having autism means that when something truly matters – when I have something important to say – I struggle to find the right words, or tell my story in the order it happened. I usually have to go around the houses.
Talking on the phone is easier when I close my eyes. Without the visual input, my thoughts flow more freely. As a conceptual thinker, this small act helps me express myself with a little more ease and clarity. Being autistic, means the world around me is always overstimulating. Autism doesn't make for an easy time, made even harder, when everyday I struggle to fit in."
It must be very frustrating for you to say what you want to say and then because of autism, lose the words. It is important others understand your limitations and help you work to your abilities.
I am sure there are those who will want to help and do just that.
Yes, thank you. I'm almost embarrassed at the things I struggle with. Most of those things are basic and elementary. Some of the stuff you learn in school.
I agree. There are kind people who do understand. It still doesn't take away my embarrassment. I need to take the onus off me.
My disability isn't about me anymore.
Yes, I have a hard time having conversations with people. It stems from my parents making me extremely neurotic about every little thing.
They made me feel guilty about pretty much everything. I always had to struggle, watching what I said to avoid getting into trouble. It gets extremely frustrating when you're trying to talk to people, but you can't find the right words to say.
I'm sure that is why I find it so much easier to chat with people online, rather than dealing with them directly. It would be great not to have to deal with this issue, as it gets very lonely after a while.
Thanks Randy. Yes, I get you... I had that also with my father walking behind me telling me to pick my foot up and stop dragging my leg.
When family continue to nag, or insist, it's easy to understand why others would become neurotic. That said, these things aren't about us.