"Life has a way of shifting beneath us when we least expect it. Losing my twin is not just about her absence; it's about losing a reflection of myself, a connection that always existed, now gone. It has altered the very foundation of my identity. The version of myself I once knew is different now – I am less confident, less certain. Life looks and feels different.

I need to understand how to catch up, to realign with who I was before her passing, now in the wake of twin loss. At the same time, with autism I am navigating a new environment, which is unnerving, difficult. Moving house is still bringing its own complexities: the visuals have changed the way I am able to cope.

Nothing is familiar – the cottage is tiny, the smells and sounds are different. With sensory overload all the new changes are overwhelming. The world feels louder and harsher, and my nervous system is working overtime, just to adjust. I don't like the new solitude, the new point 2 version.

The point 2 version has too many triggers to deal with and her mental health and physical struggles are ongoing.

Grief isn't following a straight path and it's hitting unexpectedly through too many sensory changes. I am beginning to question where I belong and struggle to find a space that feels safe, both physically and emotionally. I have no answers. Where grief and healing should exist together, currently I struggle with both.

I remind myself that I need to take small steps, to find comfort in my new life – but with autism it's difficult.

I need to allow space for difficult emotions without letting others define me. I need to remember to remind myself that settling into a new version of myself takes time, but above all, right now, I need to do what feels right for me.

Are you doing what's right for you?"