With no support and dealing with physical and emotional problems, as a child my attitude was far from graceful. I didn’t emotionally equate or understand back then why I was so angry.

It would go on to take many years for my father to tell a close family member that underneath the exterior he always knew there was a kind and caring child, waiting to come out.

It's a shame he didn't talk to me about it. I know that with support I would have had some of those kind and caring traits he talked about, as those are exactly the traits I exhibit now.

Being kept in the dark on my physical issues meant my childhood would always be difficult. Emotionally I would always be angry. As the child, it's not always our fault, particularly if we're ignored, but as the adult, it’s our fault if we’re having a bad day.

It's also our fault if we don’t talk in a way that is gracious and conciliatory. We must always be gracious.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Being gracious”

  1. It is difficult to be gratuitous in the face of ignorance and abuse, but I agree it is important and I am working on it. It's kind of empowering but hard at the same time!

    1. I couldn't agree more with you. Difficult to do, but empowering when we do. It is hard but with practice it does get easier. Just a shame we have to do it.

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