When we struggle and think about others, we may think they have their lives pretty much wrapped up. We may look and focus on their qualities, rather than on our own.

From the outset, we may think their lives seem to fit together perfectly, but inwardly they will also have their own stories to tell. Instead, we must focus on our own qualities.

These are my own techniques to achieve happiness in oneself:

  • Never look at the past as something negative. Look at it as something you can learn and grow from;
  • Stop trying to please others, if pleasing others doesn’t please you;
  • Being around people who intimidate you can make you feel worse about yourself. Instead choose to be around positive people who elevate you and who make you feel good about yourself;
  • Try to find ways that work for you so that you can take control over how you feel;
  • Don’t worry about what other people think. Accepting yourself is easier when you ignore other people and what they think of you.

When you put a more positive spin on your life and your own qualities, you will be less inclined to question yourself. So, accept yourself, forgive yourself and eliminate toxic people from your life. When you’re happy with yourself, you won’t want to be someone else.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Being happy with oneself”

  1. I used to really care about what others had that I didn't and that they had their lives together and I didn't, but now it doesn't matter to me that others seem to have it all.

    I'm working on my life now and couldn't care less if so-and-so has more than me or has it together. I do care about others though but I don't covet what they have.

    1. I think we tend to be more drawn in to wanting to be like someone else, when we're not happy with who we are. Usually once we're through whatever we have to deal with, we become okay with ourselves again.

      As you say working on your life Lisa allows you to be comfortable with yourself without feeling the need to look over at what others have. Building self-esteem and confidence is key.

  2. You make some really good points in this post. I guess it's all about learning to put oneself first and at times that isn't easy.

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