Being tactful means you’re happy to consider other people’s feelings and reactions. It also means you’ll say the right thing and communicate information in the right way and at the right time. But being tactful only works if everyone is in on the act. It is important to be diplomatic, thoughtful, understanding, and considerate.

When we're tactful, we're providing critical feedback, strengthening our resolve, our reputation and that helps with us sounding credible. Being tactful shows others we’re mature and we have integrity. It helps us avoid conflict, widens our resolve, produces opportunity, and helps us find common ground.

We may know what tact is, but not all of us use it. Using tact can continue to dampen many fires. It is important to think before you speak, stand back and ask yourself whether what you’re about to say will be received by the other person, in the same way you would want to receive that information.

Creating the right environment is important. Being tactful is honest, thoughtful, diplomatic, it also shows respect for yourself and the other person, self-awareness and discretion.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Being tactful”

  1. I was never know, for my tact, rather more for putting my size 9s in instead, and I just tended to say what I thought.

    But I have learnt that wasn't always appropriate and now I am more discerning and gauge the likely reaction. Unfortunately some people still think I am the same old me, but I see that as their problem and not mine.

    1. Thanks. You're being honest about it, so that's positive. If more of us 'did tactful' I am sure all of our relationships would be different.

      We can all learn to be tactful. Being tactful is being considerate, and being considerate should be our priority, always characterised by a sense of what is right and wrong.

      I think we'd all get on better using it, the world would be be kinder and our relationships would prosper, with less mandatory fall outs.

      As you say you have learned it's not always appropriate to say what you think, rather what the situation needs. Always helpful.

  2. Being tactful definitely wasn't anything that was practiced in my house when we were kids. If anything, it was the total opposite where people said whatever they felt like, even when they should have known it would crush us.

    My parents were always over sharing with TMI (too much information) that no parent should ever share with their children. We didn't grow up in anything like this new p.c. world, so I don't always understand what it is that people are talking about.

    I've had to practically train myself on how to be tactful, which can be difficult at times, considering there are many out there, that are anything but.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, Like me, you will have probably learned the hard way. It's not your fault, you will have copied what you saw.

      As an angry child, struggling with a disability I didn't know I had, I was far from tactful. It's not always easy to remain tactful in certain situations, particularly when it comes patience.

      I love that you have trained yourself. Good for you and how good is that.

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