Another reflection

Date 1 June 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I’m spending more time in reflection now that my parents are no longer here. I find reflection helps me continue to equate and understand why things turned out for me in my life the way they did, up to this point. It doesn’t help me turn back the clock and…
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Moral codes

Date 31 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
There are no guarantees the moral codes we teach our children will be used by them as adults. The hard part for any parent is standing back, whilst they watch their child live their lives differently. As a child, I innately knew how to behave. Morality Morality is usually passed…
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How things were

Date 28 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
This is merely another observation on another experience. Children should always know what they’re dealing with as a small child. We can be forgiven for being angry, not knowing what we have, and being asked to do the things it was clear we couldn’t do, particularly if the signs were…
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Feeling on my own

Date 27 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I am on my own, because I had no emotional support. When I look back at my life and the trauma I’ve had to deal with, it almost seems inevitable. I come so far then it hits me that this is where I am and although I know I couldn’t…
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Making changes

Date 26 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I’ve dealt with trauma. I’ve struggled to achieve things, but it was only when I took myself in hand and started to work through a disability I didn’t know I had, that things began to change. I had to wait until the time was right, but I’ve done it. If…
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More health concerns

Date 24 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Over the last few months I’ve been working on my health issues, having various tests and working on diets that fit in with what I’m dealing with. I have now found out that I have Dysbiosis, fungus/yeast and pathogenic bacteria in my gut, known as Candida. The tests have also…
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Memories left

Date 23 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
We don’t have to be famous to be remembered for something we’ve done, or said that goes down in history, which we’re not proud of. Unfortunately, when we emulate bad behaviour, we begin to define ourselves in ways that can come back to haunt others, when we are no longer…
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Loss of a loved one

Date 21 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
The death of a loved one may often leave us struggling, not always because they’ve passed, but because of the problems they leave behind on their passing that have affected us. Losing a loved one When it comes to losing a loved one, there may be many people left with…
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An unspoken bond

Date 19 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Whilst I was at the vets on Friday, a gentleman walked in to the waiting room. I know he had cerebral palsy because of his unusual gait. As he approached, we exchanged glances and smiled. I wanted to reach out, I wanted to say something. I wanted to let him…
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10 weeks on

Date 18 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Things are definitely settling down a lot more. The problems that seemed so vast, seem a lot smaller now. Losing my father some 10 weeks ago has left me with a completely different feeling about things and the feeling that things have been left unfinished. I know that when he…
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When humour hurts

Date 12 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Without a sense of humour our lives would be too serious, so in some respects it’s important for us to have one. What happens though when humour gets in the way of our relationships; when it becomes bigger than the relationship itself, when we expect others to conform to our…
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Sibling friendship

Date 10 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Depending on what parents do to encourage sibling friendship, they will either leave a close loving family behind, when they’re gone, or they’ll leave a family that are distant, estranged and out of touch with each other. Of course, during the bereavement period; siblings will be more vulnerable to the…
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