Up to speed

Date 10 June 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
My thoughts are a little jumbled today. We’re still hitting on stressful times since my father passed. Adjustments are never that easy, but we’re doing better. Bereavements aren’t just about losing a loved one. They’re working through the high’s and low’s of our relationship with that person. Turning to school…
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Dealing with failure

Date 9 June 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Life is full of new opportunities, when one door closes, another door opens, but we must make ourselves aware of the potential new door and the opportunities that lie beyond it. We do have control over most things None of us will have control all the time, but we can…
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Letting go of resentment

Date 7 June 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Although I wanted to know what I was dealing with, I know we have no choice but to keep the lid on our feelings. Letting go of anger doesn’t take away the initial wrongdoing and why we initially feel anger towards someone. Whatever anyone does, they will always be responsible…
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CP and Summer

Date 6 June 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
The summer months reinforce my cerebral palsy and think that’s why this time of year is a continuous struggle for me. I tend to look out of place because I have a foot drop and because I struggle with my footwear around my cerebral palsy. When most people are out…
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Out of my depth

Date 4 June 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
For the first time in a long time, I really feel out of my depth. As I’m still trying to find calm in my life, our family experiences in the last 6 years are still here, coupled with more stress that we’ve had to deal with in the last few…
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Stress changes

Date 3 June 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Emotionally, we never really know what other people go through, how much anxiety they hold on to, or how they feel about what they’re dealing with. I know what I've had to deal with over the years, I just didn't realise how much stress I carried. We all have a…
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Another reflection

Date 1 June 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I’m spending more time in reflection now that my parents are no longer here. I find reflection helps me continue to equate and understand why things turned out for me in my life the way they did, up to this point. It doesn’t help me turn back the clock and…
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Moral codes

Date 31 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
There are no guarantees the moral codes we teach our children will be used by them as adults. The hard part for any parent is standing back, whilst they watch their child live their lives differently. As a child, I innately knew how to behave. Morality Morality is usually passed…
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How things were

Date 28 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
This is merely another observation on another experience. Children should always know what they’re dealing with as a small child. We can be forgiven for being angry, not knowing what we have, and being asked to do the things it was clear we couldn’t do, particularly if the signs were…
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Feeling on my own

Date 27 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I am on my own, because I had no emotional support. When I look back at my life and the trauma I’ve had to deal with, it almost seems inevitable. I come so far then it hits me that this is where I am and although I know I couldn’t…
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Making changes

Date 26 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I’ve dealt with trauma. I’ve struggled to achieve things, but it was only when I took myself in hand and started to work through a disability I didn’t know I had, that things began to change. I had to wait until the time was right, but I’ve done it. If…
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More health concerns

Date 24 May 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Over the last few months I’ve been working on my health issues, having various tests and working on diets that fit in with what I’m dealing with. I have now found out that I have Dysbiosis, fungus/yeast and pathogenic bacteria in my gut, known as Candida. The tests have also…
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