Today's struggles

Date 1 November 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I have written journals on Cerebral Palsy many times, but there is always more to write and although my feelings equate to the same thoughts, they still need to be expressed. I’m sorry if I seem to be repeating myself. Today feels like a struggle. I struggle when those in…
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Me and my site

Date 29 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Long overdue, but I wanted to explain a little bit about me and my site. My site reinforces my life and my experiences. It was only at the age of 46 that I consciously made the decision to do something positive as far as my Cerebral Palsy was concerned. I…
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An unexpected surprise

Date 26 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Last night came good when Claudia was awarded a prize at the Town Hall in Leeds for all her hard work in school last year. We are immensely proud of her achievements to date and it’s wonderful to watch her grow into a wonderfully balanced adult. Prize Giving isn’t something…
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Dealing with CP issues

Date 23 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I have always equated the problems with my handwriting to my father walking behind me as a child. Now my neurologist has confirmed scar tissue is the reason I have problems with my handwriting, rather than the emotional scarring of being watched, as a child. Although others have no idea…
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The Cerebral Palsy Brain

Date 22 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I never really understood what I was dealing with as a child around my physical problems, what my symptoms meant or what they were. Now 47 years on and I still don’t know everything I need to know, but this blog relates to my ...
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Recent challenges

Date 20 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
The last two days my thoughts have been on the problems with my hair salon. Often life goes like that. Today I resolved the problem I had and made the decision that it was time to move on and I’m okay with my decision. Although I normally pride myself on…
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How I feel today

Date 18 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I had my journal all planned out, then I woke up and my day started to go pear shaped, so I'll publish that journal tomorrow. We tend to rely on a network of people who support us through our life and although we don’t equate most of those ...
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My childhood struggles

Date 16 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Writing about my childhood is important. It is important I write about the emotional struggles I experienced as a child; they seem completely relevant now. I’ve talked about negative self-talk and how that can impact our lives. Growing up, I found it difficult to shift bad thoughts. I didn’t understand…
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All about our subconscious

Date 14 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
The subconscious is a powerful tool. It’s not something we are consciously aware of, but it’s there and we need to continue to make ourselves aware. It’s the tool that runs our life behind the scenes. Sadly, it’s not equipped to distinguish between truth and non-truths. It accepts what it’s…
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Taking responsibility

Date 9 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
When it comes to responsibility, we can apportion our baggage and discontentment to the events of our past where family is concerned, but that doesn’t help, because we still have to function in the present. Instead, we must take responsibility for ourselves. By the time we’re adults, we’ve already stacked…
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The ties that bind

Date 7 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Blogging on my website The CP Diary, has allowed me to document my experiences with cerebral palsy, after finding out that is what I’d been struggling with up to the age of forty-six, when I received my diagnosis. I also talk about the fact that it wasn’t a freak of…
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The same old feelings

Date 6 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
The emotional ties of having to bring stability to my life takes time and effort and can be an emotional strain sometimes. Keeping my family’s lives on track, means having to pull out the stops constantly. I have to think quickly on my feet and put ...
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