A journey

Date 5 January 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
I have always been a highly moral person, but since I started The CP Diary, it has become my moral compass, a ticket to better health, a better path, a journey that allows for a bigger picture of how we can live a life in a more peaceful existence. The…
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My emotional struggle

Date 3 January 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
My emotional struggle is that I have a downer on myself, when I’m having a bad day. As a child, I was angry growing up, desperate to know what was wrong with me. It was clear to me anyway that I was not coping with my mental, emotional and physical…
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As New Year approaches

Date 31 December 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
As 2015 draws to a close, I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone for the support I’ve received this year with The Diary and to wish everyone a peaceful and happy New Year ...
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Reflecting on the last year

Date 29 December 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Reaching the end of 2015, I cannot believe yet another year has passed so quickly. Apart from the continuation of The CP Diary, which I feel has been enormously successful, my other achievement is my coming to understand part of my Cerebral Palsy symptoms after all these years. It’s been…
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Understanding what's right

Date 26 December 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child, it was always important to me that I did the right thing. It didn’t really matter what the right thing was, it felt wrong doing the wrong thing. What you think is right isn’t the same as inwardly knowing what’s right, but it helps to do what…
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My Cerebral Palsy journey

Date 22 December 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Having looked through my medical history again, I now have a fuller picture of my cerebral palsy. My neurological consultant confirms that my MRI scan shows: ‘An old stroke in the distribution of the right anterior cerebral artery and there is extensive damage to the right frontal lobe and a part…
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A different thought process

Date 20 December 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Understanding and having my Cerebral Palsy symptoms confirmed has now brought me to a different emotional place. In a way, I’m more at peace because trying to work out what was wrong with me was always my biggest challenge; now everything feels less of a challenge. Although I always knew…
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The Grieving Process

Date 19 December 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Perhaps the grieving process shouldn’t just be about mourning the person we lose, but the same process should be applied to other areas of our life. The job we lost out on or go on to lose, or in my case, the diagnosis I didn’t get ...
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Passive & obedient

Date 13 December 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
I was a passive and obedient child. Looking back now of course I didn’t quite understand what they both meant, but that’s exactly what I was. I had very little choice in my life. I wasn’t taught how to respond to people and people in authority. One of the biggest…
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A more personal blog

Date 10 December 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
It’s been a long while since I’ve written a more personal blog. I’m beginning to struggle with my Cerebral Palsy symptoms, I’ve had better days. My left side is becoming weaker. I have noticed a decline in my strength in the last 6 months on my Cerebral Palsy side. I’m…
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Piecing my history together

Date 5 December 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Since I was never told that I had Cerebral Palsy it would always be up to me to try to put the pieces of the jigsaw together, through my experiences, consultations with one or two Neurologists and from obtaining copies of my childhood medical records. Yesterday I was re-looking over…
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My missing milestones

Date 2 December 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
There will always be things about Cerebral Palsy that I can never bring closure on, because I never knew I had Cerebral Palsy and although I relentlessly tried, I can never get those years back. Now it’s too late to ask questions because my parents are no longer around. As…
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