Dealing with abandonment

Date 6 November 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
I’m not sure anyone consciously chooses to abandon someone. The feelings of abandonment often weigh heavy on my mind. When I think about abandonment in those terms, it feels heavy, scary, big, unreal and feels unloved. So how do we get past those feelings of abandonment? Firstly, we must cut…
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Listening to help others

Date 5 November 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Anyone who deals with brain damage, deals with a rewired brain. That means the information getting to the brain is slower and confused, as is our ability to process that information and to function. It’s the whole disability package. Unfortunately, not many people go on to remember that when they’re…
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Dealing with issues

Date 30 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
We can never have enough tips on how to deal with stress, brought about by some of those issues we have to deal with. It’s important to find and understand what works for us and stick with the winning formula. I use the following to reduce stressful issues: Stand back…
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Advice or lecture

Date 27 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Advice versus lecture, it's a tough call but what’s the difference between the two? Having grown up in a controlling environment, any advice I got was always done in the form of a lecture. Giving advice should always come from a place of care from people who care, but unless…
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Unconscious bias

Date 24 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Unconscious bias is something we may have done, or continue to do, unless of course we understand what it is and choose to correct it. It happens when the brain makes incredibly quick judgments and assessments of situations and people without us consciously thinking about it. Those biases are influenced…
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How things go

Date 23 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
There are so many things in our lives that we either have no control over, or fail to anticipate so they just happen. Because of those things, we will have very limited understanding and without understanding we will find those things difficult to accept. Perhaps if we begin to look at…
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We are our destiny

Date 20 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
I believe our life is already predetermined before we come into this life, but to a certain extent once we’re here, we are the authors of our destiny. Our life script (predispositions to our experiences) is interactive with possibilities and choices leading on to different pathways and we do have…
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What we're told

Date 17 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
What people want to tell us is often what we’re told, but for those of us who instinctively know that what we’re being told doesn’t add up, it can make those circumstances rather awkward. It’s usually a little white lie that gets us off the hook with no repercussions and…
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Selfless parenting

Date 12 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Even with our own insecurities, it’s important we parent children in a way we would want to have been parented ourselves, even if that didn’t happen. When we get the parenting thing wrong, history repeats itself. Most of us will try to give our children the emotional stability they need,…
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Make lemonade

Date 8 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” We can have lemons or we can make lemonade. We can encourage optimism and a can-do attitude in the face of adversity or misfortune, or do nothing. We must learn to apply the brakes, slow down and take an emotional step back, so…
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Our internal workings

Date 29 September 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Our emotions have everything to do with our internal workings. Unless we deal with our emotional cognitive framework, which comprises our emotional understanding of the world, other people and ourselves, what we try to achieve will never work. We can never expect to make headway, make important decisions without dealing…
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Thinking to fail

Date 23 September 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
On average, we talk ourselves into thinking we’re going to fail, more than we think we’re going to succeed and continue to live our lives like that. It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, but smiling has more benefits than frowning, so why not smile anyway?…
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