We are our destiny

Date 20 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
I believe our life is already predetermined before we come into this life, but to a certain extent once we’re here, we are the authors of our destiny. Our life script (predispositions to our experiences) is interactive with possibilities and choices leading on to different pathways and we do have…
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What we're told

Date 17 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
What people want to tell us is often what we’re told, but for those of us who instinctively know that what we’re being told doesn’t add up, it can make those circumstances rather awkward. It’s usually a little white lie that gets us off the hook with no repercussions and…
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Selfless parenting

Date 12 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Even with our own insecurities, it’s important we parent children in a way we would want to have been parented ourselves, even if that didn’t happen. When we get the parenting thing wrong, history repeats itself. Most of us will try to give our children the emotional stability they need,…
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Make lemonade

Date 8 October 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” We can have lemons or we can make lemonade. We can encourage optimism and a can-do attitude in the face of adversity or misfortune, or do nothing. We must learn to apply the brakes, slow down and take an emotional step back, so…
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Our internal workings

Date 29 September 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Our emotions have everything to do with our internal workings. Unless we deal with our emotional cognitive framework, which comprises our emotional understanding of the world, other people and ourselves, what we try to achieve will never work. We can never expect to make headway, make important decisions without dealing…
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Thinking to fail

Date 23 September 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
On average, we talk ourselves into thinking we’re going to fail, more than we think we’re going to succeed and continue to live our lives like that. It takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, but smiling has more benefits than frowning, so why not smile anyway?…
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Being defensive

Date 19 September 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
If we listened and understood how other people felt instead of becoming defensive, we’d certainly lighten the load without being defensive and bitter all the time. If someone says something to us, it’s often because they care, not because they’re wanting to have a go at us, unless we’ve said…
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Choosing to act

Date 16 September 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Choose to act. Don’t wait until the mood feels right. If you manage to act and you’re still not in the right mood, don’t give up when you’re only part way through. We owe it to ourselves to finish what we started. Don’t get stuck, or spiral into what could…
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Putting things right

Date 13 September 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
There is one thing living a dysfunctional life, but whatever our dysfunctional life, we must choose not to leave this world in the same dysfunctional way. Instead we must put things right, right a wrong or a lifetime of wrongs, with our loved ones. I recently watched a film called…
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Being duped

Date 10 September 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
No one likes being duped. It’s the feeling that comes when we realise the wool has been pulled, didn’t see we were being duped, lied or even taken advantage of. Why would someone dupe us? Well someone doesn’t just dupe. It’s often more complicated than that. It’s a lifestyle choice…
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Introspection

Date 6 September 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Introspection allows us to search deep within us so that we can learn everything we need to know about ourselves. We must examine and observe our own mental and emotional process, because not to means we’re less likely to take control and without control we will make less of our…
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Breast cancer study

Date 3 September 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
After a long day at work the first thing we reach for is a glass of wine, or some other alcoholic beverage. It’s what we do. It helps us unwind from a bad day at the office. A new study shows that just two glasses of wine each day can…
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