Nothing in my life was ever going to change unless I changed and that's pretty much how things worked out. Where there are problems with parents, it is inevitable the children will struggle.

We will always live the life we live unless we work to change our lives. I could have continued to fall into line, but instead I chose to work through my experiences so I could heal. I would have succumbed to illness without change.

Would I have wanted to have come into my life, knowing what I had to work through before I came? Knowing what I have achieved personally and with The CP Diary, then my answer would be yes.

It helps to have a loving close-knit family. I would have loved a balance at least. For me the scales were tipped too far the other way. If like me, you believe there is a reason for the life you live, then for me, The CP Diary is the reason. I couldn't do what I do without my disability, or my experiences.

Those responsible for what I have had to deal with need to take responsibility for themselves. I am happy to own and take responsibility for what’s mine.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Changes along the way”

  1. Yes, that what it comes down to is that old expression in AA,'nothing changes if nothing changes.'

    I'm the one who has to make the changes since my parents never did while they were alive and can't do it now since they're both finally dead.

    It sounds like you did very well for yourself in spite of the handicaps that you didn't even know that you had, but managed to work your way around them.

    You live what you know is what I'm battling now, while trying to break free from a relationship that I shouldn't have ever been in to begin with.

    I'm actually relationship challenged like one guy used to say, which means that I will have to stay single for a very long time to be able to focus on my own issues and learn how to live my own life, not the one that others try to make for me.

    1. Thanks Randy that is very kind of you. Yes, it must be you who makes the changes. I remember feeling and thinking similar thoughts to you.

      We get one crack at 'the life thing.' It's up to each and everyone of us to make sure we get the best out of our lives, regardless of what's past.

      My mum used to say, we're a long time dead and although I had no idea what she meant or why she'd say it, but now of course it makes a lot of sense.

      We don't have to stay in that place. However, hard it is you can decide to change.

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