I know that I sustained a bleed on the brain and that is why I have Cerebral Palsy, but I’m not sure what came first, the bleed or the difficult birth and then the bleed. What came first, the chicken or the egg?

When my parents were here, I knew not to ask and with both parents now gone, I may never get to know. It might be one piece of the jigsaw I can't piece together, but that doesn't mean I can't piece it together myself.

Unfortunately, not knowing has been how I’ve had to live my life and with so much negativity around the issue, I need to make sure I don’t stay negative.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Chicken or egg?”

  1. This may well be one aspect of your Cerebral Palsy that you never got 100% clarity on.

    This is another part of the jigsaw that is your life that you are beginning to piece together and one, I am sure you will face with your usual, rock solid positivity.

    1. Thanks. I am beginning to think that myself, which is why it's not sitting so comfortably with me. I was under the care of one particular specialist, who followed me through my formative years.

      I am sure had the questions been asked back then what it is I had and/or how I got to have Cerebral Palsy, I'm sure the answers would have been forthcoming. There's nothing much I can do about it now. At least I know it was a bleed, so I have that at least.

      Not the best of scenarios, but it is what it is. I need to find positivity through something that would be considered very negative, particularly because I could have had it all.

  2. I believe that's how I ended up with CP too. My mom told me I was throwing up a lot of blood. They were afraid that I would not make it through. Fortunately I did, even though it has been difficult.

    It can be difficult to remain positive with what I experienced and continue to go through, but I do try. That's all I can do.

    1. Thanks Maria. I think that's all we can do, you're right. But it helps if family do their bit too.

      The more responsive they are to what we have to deal with and the more help we get, the more positive we will be. It's not always easy to be either when everything that comes in, is negative.

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