As a child, it didn’t matter what my parents said, I was respectful. I never stopped to question their authority or their decisions.

We’re not born knowing about respect, but with the right disciplines in place, we learn the importance of respect and being respectful towards others, especially those older or those in authority.

Unfortunately, today’s world isn’t the world I grew up in. I’ve often heard it said that in today’s world, children learn to manipulate to get what they want. They argue, belittle and ignore adults, sometimes their parents. They have an attitude, use bad language to communicate and often fail to respect those in authority, but whilst that is true for many children, there are children who clearly get the respect thing right.

It’s our jobs as adults, to teach children to function, to make the transition into an adult world. For them to do that successfully, we need them to behave respectfully towards others, not just towards us. For children with the right disciplines, they will learn that their actions count that owning and taking responsibility for their actions is important. No one will successfully function without incorporating these measures.

Children will always push their boundaries where think they know better, but the reality is that they have many more years to learn about life, how things work and why. They will always test the waters and their boundaries. It's the nature of a child. It’s the way they learn.

Although children have their opinions on what they want, they won’t always use the best methods to quantify that, but through maturity will learn how best to communicate. However hard it gets, we as adults must continue to pave the way, fairly. Wrongful behaviour doesn’t get a child off the hook.

Even if children push us to the limits on occasions and show disrespect, as adults we must show humility, to know that as children mature so will their attitude on respect.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Children & respect”

  1. I remember when street level thugs and upscale monsters had respect for adults, but the laws of life are different nowadays.

    So we have to make serious connections with our children, have substantive conversations about self respect and respect for others; void of our own hypocrisy of course.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, connecting with children on an emotional level should be elementary, whether it's in school or at home, but there seems to be very little of it. Children are often left to their own devices.

      I don't do hypocrisy well, but perhaps that is what's wrong with society. We can't expect our children to do right by other people and show respect, if we have a problem with the very people we're asking them to be respectful of.

      I do agree with you that the laws of life seem different now, but not sure those laws really work. You only have to turn the t.v. on to realise there's a lot wrong with the world today.

      Perhaps we need to go back to basics on this one. I believe there are a lot of things that need to change but it's never too late.

  2. We are certainly living in a different world now compared to when we were our children's age, but it remains a parent's responsibility to instill the need for respect.

    When that fails, it is the failure of the parent as well as the child.

    1. Yes, quite. It's a shame because I know the world would be so different if the old values were part of children's lives today.

      That said, I believe it's never too late to start, but we'd have to take out all the influences that change the way we think and perceive each other and the world. We must work together, instead of independently of each other.

      I agree with you that a lack of respect becomes the failure of the parent first, then the child. How sad.

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