When we go through any type of abuse, psychologically we become different people. Abuse if allowed to continue, runs through generations and families. Children who are subjected to abuse, tend to have to adapt to their environment.
In the 60's, abuse wasn't a thing, it was accepted that children adapted to their circumstances, children were resilient, they bounced back, but years on and that's not the case. It’s not that children adapt, they have no choice, they have to make their circumstances work, but they are still mentally affected by their childhoods.
But any behaviour that begins to change the way a child sees themselves, needs to change. Parents get away with neglect and control, because it’s not recognised or seen as abuse, and where one parent is controlling, the other parent will be controlled by their spouse.
As the child, it is difficult to know how to feel towards a parent who controls, or uses control, or neglect as a means of parenting. But as parents we should always do what’s best for our children, regardless of what’s gone before us. Parents who have been abused, can go on to abuse, and the cycle continues.
The cycle doesn’t have to continue if we're able to recognise its signs and work on change. When it comes to abuse, control or neglect, any respect and love a child has for their parents is misguided. As children, we are programmed to believe we should respect our parents, no matter their behaviour.
They’re our parents, we tend not to think about or see them in any other way. Thankfully, society is now beginning to wake up, to see that all is not what it seems. For some children though, that's a little bit too late.
