I have always equated the problems with my handwriting to my father walking behind me as a child. Now my neurologist has confirmed scar tissue is the reason I have problems with my handwriting, rather than the emotional scarring of being watched, as a child.
Although others have no idea of my daily struggles, just filling in a form is difficult. Because handwriting is something we learn as a child, I feel embarrassed that I continue to struggle with it. Perhaps my blog shows others that we all have struggles that we face and that it’s okay.
The problem is, I don’t know how much of my handwriting issue is down to scarring, or how much is down to my father watching me walk. That is something I’ll never know. All I know is that I have difficulty with my handwriting.
It's hard to get through issues we all have, that aren't apparent yet plague us with self doubt and anxiety.
The source of the problem might be a good place to start, but invariably we all know in the end these issues will have to be accepted along with the root cause of the problem.
We all need to go through our own process to get to the end result but the end result is the same. If it's a problem we will always have, then we need to cope the best we can. Talking about it is key and I'm glad you have shared this.
Brian, the source of my problem is two-fold. My cerebral palsy, as confirmed by my Neurologist and my father walking behind me constantly.
I do accept that I have this particular problem, but I need to work through it, so I am more comfortable with it. Writing is something we learn very early on, at my age it's hard to work through it again, but I will do, somehow. When I consciously think about it, my handwriting seems worse, better when I'm put in the position when I need to write, but it's still not great.
I'm happy to share any of my issues. We all have them, just different ones. It helps to know there are people who care.
My CP affects mainly my gait and lower extremities. If you can be blessed with this condition, I consider the degree of involvement to be just that. My CP could have been much, much more involved, and I am grateful for the fact that this is not the case.
My condition is obvious when ambulating, but when sitting, no one would guess that anything was the matter. However, should I meet someone for the first time while ambulating on my fore-arm crutches, people immediately equate my condition with a degree of mental impairment as well.
This has, indeed, been a great source of frustration for me. I've over-compensated for this by developing a pretty impressive vocabulary, so I immediately go about using $10 words to try to impress upon this individual that I have as good or even better intellectual properties than them.
I know this sounds silly, but that's been my defence mechanism for many years. At any rate, I've toned it down and fortunately times have changed with how the general public deal in general with disabilities. However, life does go on.
Struggles with this condition continue, but after 46 years of dealing with it, I have to say that I've dealt with it better than some of my other personal issues.
Ilana, I promise to post more often. Take care, and you do have my support!
I totally understand your frustrations Thomas. I think that whatever we deal with, there will always be those frustrations.We just have to do the best that we can, given with what we deal with.
I am so pleased to have you on site. You're here now that's the main thing. Thanks for posting.
I think you do great. I don't have CP and I really don't have any outward problems except Carpel Tunnel Syndrome and Reynolds Syndrome. I think we all have to deal with our problems the best way we can... and having friends that listen and help and support us helps tremendously. I think you writing about your struggles is a great help to others and to you. I'm here for you.
Thanks Lisa.