We can choose to do things to spite, or we can choose to do things in spite. It takes a certain type of character to do things to spite, one that maliciously sets out to hurt, one who holds a grudge.
Although, it’s never easy having people in our lives who are and think it's okay to be spiteful, it is important we don’t just let it happen. Being on the receiving end means we're not only dealing with abuse, but emotionally we're constantly having to be on our guard too.
When anyone gets to that point, they've lost emotional control. The point is we should want to do things to help others and not want to do things in spite. Working through stress, or facing challenges, aren’t another person's problem or fault, and yet we make it their fault. We make things about them.
We all have stress and challenges to deal with, but we should choose to deal with those challenges without passing the buck and doing things to spite someone. We must focus on the real issues and approach our circumstances being positive.
Life hands out what it hands out. We need to learn to ride the storms and learn to do things. It isn't right for anyone to lash out, just because it's easier and you're hurting.
We do this, as it's easier to blame someone else rather than accept responsibility; and it's really not nice behaviour.
Instead of hiding, we should step up and take a long look at ourselves and change. We don't have to be stuck in that pattern.
We don't have to be stuck in that pattern, but I'm not sure how many of us buy into that. Your last paragraph sums up your blog beautifully. We need to take a long look at ourselves and then think about bringing change in.
If that means taking back responsibility and control of how we deal with others, then perhaps that's what we must do. That is what life is about.