I am writing this blog because it will not only help me, but hopefully will help others with what they have to deal with, when they cannot see a way through what seems like a massive blur.

Being let down

There is no doubt, that I have been let down badly, by those who should have protected, supported and helped me, both personally and in school. I feel angry and frustrated, knowing that I may never have clarification on what I had to deal with since I was a small child.

Feeling angry and disappointed

It has left me feeling angry and disappointed. I did everything I could. I am exonerated knowing my questions although they remain unanswered, have been answered through knowing I was dealing with something and not nothing.

Although I have let go of the guilt, I have yet to decide what I need to do to bring acceptance. I know I can't give up.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Emptiness”

  1. Try and concentrate on the good things you have in your life and all the friends you have on line. Think of all the good you are doing for people with CP. You have a talent for helping people and for listening. Continue to use your god given talents you should be so grateful for those.

    Above all try not to get stuck. Move forward, you will feel much better. Dwelling on what has happened will not change it. You need to move on as soon as you can.

    Reply

    1. I know Randy and I will, but in order to move on I have to work through the emotions I feel and then I will be ready to move on. I have strategies in place for me so that I can do that.

      I have such wonderful friends including yourself and am grateful for having you all in my life. I know I am blessed. I know I help not only myself but others too and am very grateful for being able to do what I do.

      Many thanks for your continued support and concern.

      Reply

  2. You need to go through this process but not alone. I'm here for you and with you, as I'm sure others are. It's a terrible thing that was done to you and I can't say I've been there, but if I had I would feel the same way. It may take a while for you to move on from this. I hope I can help you in some way as you are helping me. You're a good person and a great friend. Hugs Lisa

    Reply

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