Sadly, not knowing I had Cerebral Palsy, let alone neurological impairments, meant that I would always struggle to understand how to function normally in my life and in relationships, because of my neurological impairments. There is no getting away from that.
It also meant those close to me would come to struggle too, unless they chose to fall into line because I function and get to perceive life differently. Relationships aren’t easy, even less so when something isn’t known, then it becomes known.
Although over the years I have had to painstakingly work out and understand what my symptoms are, others have had to come to terms and understand those symptoms and that’s not been easy either.
Not knowing anything, then getting to know the way someone presents, would always be somewhat of a challenge. Where anyone deals with a disability, it’s usually others who must fall into line. It’s the nature of how disability works.
It doesn't make sense for someone to suffer in front of me, when I should mirror what that person feels, especially if we're in a relationship together. We should be joined at the hip for better or worse.
In other words, your disability is my disability, unless I lose permission to love you that way.
Thanks Tim. Yes, this applies to all relationships, including family. In an ideal world you're right, but in reality it's not how it works.
I doubt the Diary, or my blogs on my experiences would exist, if others had mirrored their lives around me and given me the emotional support. Sadly, I've had to emotionally support myself over the years.
Your thoughts on relationships is exactly right.