"In my forties when I learned I had cerebral palsy and I started my writing career, I never associated writing with autism, or saw the intensity of how I write as an autism trait. I was depressed as a child. I never had any interests or finished anything. It never went un-noticed by those close to me.
Fast forward and through The CP Diary I bring my experiences to life. I talk about my experiences around a disability I didn't know I had. My blog help me to manage my anxiety. The blog, centred around my mental health brings clarity. Writing about my struggles bring understanding, in what has been a traumatic life.
For those reading my blog, it also helps others understand what they deal with. My writing makes me feel good and to know that I’m not alone. Where an obsession could spill over and single me out, I take time for other things. I love that for the first time I am doing something I love that makes me feel good. Writing makes me feel better, it empowers me to want to write more, to feel better.
My blog brings clarity where I didn't have clarity, and understanding where there was none. Even if my enthusiasm were to seem like an obsession, I would never stop doing something that makes me, and others feel better.
There are too many labels that people place on each other, which is exactly why there are so many problems in the world.
Just because people like to write, they try to label it as an obsession, which probably translates to the fact that they don't understand it and aren't good at it.
My biggest issue with writing, has been that I never had any privacy as a child and was constantly chastised if I dared to write anything about what was really going on. My mother was the one who seemed obsessed with my writing. She made me paranoid about it to the point where I stopped writing at all.
Your writing has helped me out tremendously, which is why I have always been so appreciative about it. You write about issues that I'm dealing with at that time, which helps me find a way to work through it.
There are a lot of things I should be writing about myself, but what I realize I need a secure place to put some of it, seeing as people don't always need to read everything I write.
I may also need to come up with a pen name, seeing as there are many things that I'm not proud of, since I've made a lot of mistakes along the way and hurt a lot of people in ways that I can't make amends for.
I guess I will just have to start doing a lot of writing and sort it out later. Needless to say, I didn't follow my dreams of becoming a great writer, like Stephen King.
That's probably true for everything Randy. Just getting some of your thoughts on paper for yourself would be a good start.
I do think that given your childhood and your parentage, you have very little to feel bad or guilty about. As you say, you've made mistakes, you've hurt people, but others must understand your life before they pass judgment on you.
I was a nightmare child. I was angry most of the time and every now and again my kind side would appear. But what you read through my blog and my responses, is how I really am, underneath the anger. That has never changed.
You don't have to be a Stephen King Randy. All I know is that if society, family and the world came together, you would have had less people stand in judgment and you would have coped better.