It’s not always easy to understand how you can be surrounded by people and yet we feel lonely; all you know is you're not happy. Feeling lonely is a state of mind and a mind can always be changed, but first you need to know how and where to start. It starts with childhood and depends on how you feel about yourselves.
The Idea of Being Alone Conjures Up a Sense of Dread
The idea of being alone conjures up a sense of dread, particularly if being on you own means you're forced to confront your thoughts and feelings. It's something you may not be comfortable with. In fact, you may choose not confront your issues, but what good would that do in the longer-term?
Feelings Come from the Soul
Feelings come from the soul. The soul is multi-layered and holds the powers of your thoughts, emotions and actions. It is the essence of who you are and is made up of and holds your unconscious, and conscious mind, your wants and desires.
The Soul is an Imprint of your Behaviour
The soul is connected to your experiences. It is an imprint of behaviour. As soon as you change your behaviour, the soul's imprint will change. How you feel about yourselves is important because that shapes how you will live your life.
Conclusion
But deep-rooted issues will always remain. It’s those very issues that shape the struggles behind why you may dislike being alone. It’s important to look back and understand each of your experiences – working through what’s still unresolved, whether that’s trauma, loss, or a sense of injustice. Only when you begin to make peace with what’s happened and gain confidence in who you are, will you start to feel more at ease – and being on your own won’t feel so difficult anymore.
Yes, I had that experience just yesterday, where I was standing in a room full of people and felt completely alone, even though I have known these people a long time.
I guess it had more to do with the fact that only one person seemed happy to see me, which meant more than she could ever know. The holidays always bring out the worst of my old feelings, so it's not surprising that this is happening.
I'm feeling very lonely right now, since I'm living with someone who I really don't want to be with. I shouldn't be worried about being alone, since I have done it before; but I think it's more a matter of standing my ground under the circumstances.
It would be great if I was actually living alone but I don't feel like I should have to be the one to move out, since the apartment is in my name.
Those deep-rooted issues do seem to come out at the worst possible times. It comes from always feeling outside the box of everybody else's world, especially when being around family during the holidays and being considered the black sheep of the family.
We were allowed to be there for the family gatherings, but when it came right down to it, not a lot of people interacted with us, other than minimal polite conversation.
Even now they still feel like familiar strangers, who I know have a familial resemblance but as far as any real connection outside of that realm, we still don't belong.
I would love to change that but I think I'm going to have to do the work on my own, when I'm finally on my own once again.
Thanks Randy. Yes, as the saying goes, 'you can choose your friends, but not your family.'
I am sure there are many who feel the same way you do, particularly when it comes to high holidays. We are always reminded of those times when it comes to family gatherings. But it is their loss not yours.
I think the key is caring less Randy, and just being okay with it, because you are what matters. I know that once you make a decision about the life you want to have and act on it, the less lonely you will be and the happier you will feel.
We always feel torn when we continue to hold on to what we know. Emotionally, we must remove ourselves from how we still feel about the situation and get on with what we have in front of us.
If that's not right either, we must also correct that.