Feeling lonely isn’t always about being in a home on your own, yes that may be part of what we think, when we think about being lonely; but being lonely is our inability to be able to communicate the things that are important to us, or from holding views that others find inadmissible.

Feeling lonely

We’re alone when we come into the world. There may be times when you're with people and you still feel lonely, but being able to articulate your thoughts and feelings, is the key to lifting some of those lonely feelings.

Feeling Lonely isn't Permanent

It is important not to fall into the trap of believing that feeling lonely is permanent. We can change our thinking. Feeling lonely is a state of mind, and the mind can always be changed. If you’re struggling to mentally and physically function that can create a sense of feeling lonely, no matter how many people you have around you.

Accepting How you Feel

It is important to accept you are feeling lonely, if that's how you feel. But also important to remember that the feeling of being alone, can and often does change. It shouldn't define you. Once you accept you are lonely, then you can focus on dealing with those feelings.

Refocus Your Attentions on How you Feel

Refocus your attentions on how you feel. Start by looking at your life, at your experiences, and see where you can make small changes. Our experiences can very much be a part of feeling lonely. It is important to love the skin you’re in. Get to know you. Problem arise when we run from ourselves.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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2 comments on “Feeling You're on Your Own”

  1. I feel like I have been trying to run away from myself. It's ridiculous as you can't get away from yourself so you have to learn how to be comfortable in your own skin.

    I have spent my life being alone so I'm used to it, but lately I have been feeling extremely lonely because of Covid. It would be nice to spend more time with the few friends that I do have, but every time you meet up with other people, you run the risk of catching the virus.

    Only recently have I connected with how lonely my life has been. I'm 52 years old and don't have a lot of friends, mostly acquaintances which is kind of sad. As a child I became a people pleaser, with those close to me using and abusing me.

    I was forced to ignore my instincts about people because my parents used us to get what they wanted from people, so it's no wonder that it happens repeatedly. With the kind of friends I have had, I haven't needed enemies, but I am desperately trying to change this.

    It's sad that people choose to do things alone, but I can definitely understand why. We should all be working to stick together, but everyone seems to want to do things on their own.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, given the pandemic and the world we're in, it is important we all work on being a support for each other and we stick together.

      It is important we are comfortable in our own skin. It is a help if our parents support and guide us, but even if they don't, I believe we can achieve it for ourselves. It is all to do with mindset and thinking positively about ourselves.

      I have always been comfortable with myself, in my own company and in my own skin. It doesn't phase me being on my own, never has, but I too can understand those who aren't keen in their own company.

      Good luck with trying to change things for yourself. I know you can.

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