It’s usually not what people say, it’s how they say it and that can make us feel intimidated. Some circumstances can make us feel vulnerable.
Intimidation can happen at many levels too, ranging from parents, families, individuals, in the school playground, even work, anywhere where we come into contact with people. People make us feel intimidated. They usually don’t have to speak; their presence can intimidate us.
A successful parent can make us feel intimidated, particularly when we're small and we feel the need to prove ourselves. When we become mindful and learn how the brain reacts to being intimidated, we will understand and recognise the signs of intimidation and will find it easier to adjust. It's not always how someone will make us feel, if we're already feeling intimated it could be the way we feel about ourselves.
In order to move away from intimidation, we must learn to be pro-active. If we're aware of how the brain reacts in threatening situations, we can stimulate and even build up an inner sense of calm and strength. A mind that sees real threats more clearly, will act more effectively in dealing with those threats. The more we subject ourselves to and are aware of intimidating behaviour, the more equipped we will be.
I believe our circumstances are responsible for how vulnerable we are. Having Cerebral Palsy without any support made me even more vulnerable. The less confidence I had, the more open to being vulnerable I became and the more vulnerable I became, the more intimidated I was.
Very good post; I agree with you.
Thanks Lisa.
I've experienced feelings of intimidation mainly because I wasn't prepared for a task or someone's stature towered over my insecurities and fears.
I can remember a time when I was intimidated by people in positions of power who I thought had the ability to decide my fate. But I eventually discovered that inner sense of calm and strength you so eloquently described in your forth paragraph.
Intimidation is a shrewd technique and I've seen it used in the worst way.
Thanks Tim. You eloquently describe in your second paragraph how intimidation works.
I think intimidation went on too long for me to bring about any sense of inner calm, but I'm lucky that I eventually found the inner strength to move it away from me from time to time. I would have had to come away from my circumstances completely to find inner calm.
I am pleased you found an inner sense of calm and strength that helped you with what you had to deal with. It's a shame we have to go to these lengths to deal with what shouldn't be a part of our lives in the first place.
For a while I let someone intimidate me, but I woke up and realised he was no better than me and I had nothing to prove. That put me in a position of equality, which I know he didn't like.
I am not so sure his intimidation was used purposefully towards me, it certainly was towards others but things changed when I changed how I felt about being treated like that.
I refused to accept it.
I think you're right. The person who go on to intimidates is no better than we are and they probably know they're not, which is why they choose to intimidate.
Your first paragraph will resonate with many people. It certainly resonates with me. When we come to realise that the person who intimidates is no better than we are, we take back control.
I believe it's the first step to finding inner calm and strength and the strength to deal with the other person differently.