Do we really know what it means to find ourselves and to discover ourself in a world that is changed? In life it is the most important thing we will do.

Liking and Understanding Ourselves

We like ourselves with the ego, the challenge is liking ourselves without the ego. Finding 'us' is an unselfish process that needs to be at the heart of everything we do. For us to add value to our lives, we have to first know who we are and what our values are. We need to understand us, our past, know our story and be at peace with 'our story' our lives.

Experiences cannot be changed

Whether your experiences are good or bad, those are your experiences and cannot be changed. Instead you should learn to embrace them. Learning about yourself isn’t something to be feared or avoided and berating yourself for your mistakes is pointless, because simply put, those will hold you back.

Instead, make sense of your past and be open to your experiences. Try to understand why they are yours and why they were meant for you. It’s a personal journey you will benefit from taking.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

Most people who read this blog

went on to read these blogs next
Date 20 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

The Power to Choose

Breaking free from expectations and embracing a life shaped by your own values Empowerment starts when we try something new. It's about taking action and believing that our choices can shape our lives. Many of ...
Read more
Date 16 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

Britain's Next Prime Minister

As Keir Starmer leaves office, attention turns to the challenges awaiting his successor Keir Starmer leaves office having described it as a privilege to serve as Prime Minister. Those words are worth reflecting on. Politics was once ...
Read more
Date 14 July 2026
Author Ilana Estelle

The Soul's Continuing Journey

How our choices, relationships, and experiences become part of the soul's continuing journey. My understanding of death is this: the greatest misunderstanding is believing that life ends. The physical body reaches its ...
Read more
1 2 3 521

8 comments on “Find Yourself”

  1. If we don't know who we are then how can we find the path to move forward? We have to find out who we are and what we value and that takes courage and action.

    It sounds self-centred but it is an unselfish process which goes to the heart of everything we do.

    1. Thanks. Yes, it is completely the opposite of selfish. Finding yourself helps you stay in the moment and move on from your past. It makes you happier and that makes other people happier too.

      Let's be honest, we're not. We're not really living, the majority of us exist.

  2. No, it's not something I'm familiar with. I was well trained and brainwashed into being such a people pleaser by my mother that I haven't really known anything different.

    I wasted most of my life trying to make other people happy, when I kept choosing people just like my mother, who weren't happy no matter what I did.

    It has been a long time since I have considered what I wanted from life, but once I started doing it last year, my life has changed and improved.

    I may have to be a confirmed bachelor for the rest of my life to do everything that I want to do, but I am hoping that it won't come to that, but we shall have to see.

    1. Thanks Randy. With the right person Randy, there will be no need for you to be a confirmed bachelor.

      The good think about being human is that we can evolve and change, and can often 'find' ourselves through the process. We can also mentally and emotionally move on, we don't have to stay where we were.

      I am pleased your life has changed and improved and hope it continues to go that way. I'm routing for you.

  3. I learn more about myself with every season, which means I'm a stranger to myself over and over again. With each change I revert to a style of life that's foreign to me, one fresh reality after another.

    It's a challenging way to find yourself, but there's a message of some kind lurking everywhere. I'm sure something or someone is watching my progress.

    Ilana,

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, depending on our early years, we will either know everything we need to know about ourselves, or we won't know anything.

      But what happened to you Tim isn't unique. I feel there are many of us out there, who know very little about ourselves.

      Unless you follow the spiritual practices I talk about through my writing, there is a lot we won't know about ourselves and everything we need to learn about ourselves. But as with all spiritual practices, it is important we walk the walk.

      Through a disability I didn't know I had, there was nothing I knew about myself, but through my blog, and my book, I now know everything I need to know about myself.

      In spirit our loved ones are 7 times more spiritual than they were this side of life. As you go about your life, you are being watched, by your loved ones. They know everything about you.

      As firm friends Tim, I would want to make sure you're happy and coping okay, particularly in these difficult times. We support one another and through my blog, we are able to do that.

  4. Thank you, Ilana. I'm doing well during these difficult times, trying to stay informed and educated, I'm healthy and whole.

    I know intuitively that you place priority on the well being of your readers. That's an awesome service that you provide.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes, my readers will always be my top priority. I love that you're doing well during these difficult times that you are healthy and whole.

      You are a positive person by nature. Your cup is half full rather than half empty, so you would always choose to see the positive, no matter how much negativity is thrown at you. I know it is contributing to your wellness.

      Yes, I've had to extend what I write about, since there is a lot more happening in the world that is affecting me, than when I first started with my blog 10+ years ago. I would rather not write about things like covid, but it's the only way I get to remove anxiety, made worse because of autism around covid.

      That said, any trauma or problems around our emotions can leave us with a broken spirit, if we're not strong enough to cope with it. As a child, I innately understood about spirituality early on and that got me through.

      I agree with your comment about being informed and educated Tim. Both certainly can take the edge off the stress we feel, but with autism, it has taken me months to come to terms with covid and lockdown.

      Now I must come to terms with trying to get back into something that resembles a life moving forward.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Subscribe to receive regular updates

Enter your details below to be the first to receive updates on new articles on my blog.